Episode 25
Episode 25: Deus Ex(it) Machina
As Book and Ocean try to investigate their coworkers' murders, a friend from Ocean's past continues to help in ways that aren't always appreciated.
This one is mostly the bad part of a CSI episode and the good part of a Grey's Anatomy episode.
Transcript
Welcome to Oops!
Speaker:All Apocalypses, a show where we explore the collapse of society by playing fun, tabletop role playing games.
Speaker:I'm your host, Stu Masterson, and I'm joined by two big bad beetle borgs.
Speaker:I forgot all about big bad beetle borgs.
Speaker:Have I done that one before?
Speaker:I don't think so.
Speaker:I don't think so.
Speaker:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker:I would have remembered that one.
Speaker:I know dick all about big bad beetle borgs, besides the fact that I got one toy of a beetle borg from a McDonald's when I was like a wee little lad and I lost him in a ball pit and I was very upset.
Speaker:I wouldn't I would go back to that ball pit now.
Speaker:I don't even know if ball pits even exist anymore, to be honest with you.
Speaker:He is lost in the sands of time.
Speaker:Hey, real quick, what is the opposite of a beetle beetle?
Speaker:Is this a joke?
Speaker:You have to tell me now.
Speaker:Maybe opposite of a beetle, a centipede, because they're really long and tiny and thin and lots of legs.
Speaker:I completely disagree with your interpretation, but I'll go with it because I feel like a beetle, like the opposite of a beetle would be something that's not a bug.
Speaker:Hey, everybody, I'm Brady and I play Book McCready, a small, good centipede, organic entity.
Speaker:Oh, I see what you're saying.
Speaker:I get it now.
Speaker:Stu hated that.
Speaker:Stu has never, Stu has, I play Book.
Speaker:I said that.
Speaker:Oh, okay.
Speaker:Book is the small, wait, the small, good centipede, organic entity.
Speaker:Stu hated that, every bit of that.
Speaker:It's a pain in Stu's eye.
Speaker:That was such a funny joke.
Speaker:I'm Jacob, I play Ocean, a gentle giant who is currently having a little bit of a crisis over the fact that his only two friends are a nerdy little tiny guy and a possible robot AI overlord.
Speaker:By nerdy little tiny guy, do you mean a small, good centipede?
Speaker:Yeah, a small, good centipede, organic entity, yes.
Speaker:Nice.
Speaker:Maybe Ocean is the biggest nerd.
Speaker:Maybe he is.
Speaker:He kind of feels like he probably is.
Speaker:He could be the secret big nerd, taking away all of the thunder from parts.
Speaker:Yeah, he's going to learn to read and completely just take over books in tight roll.
Speaker:This week, we're going to attempt to fall in love with Book and Ocean even more.
Speaker:We are almost rounding out set two of our questions, which will bring us to our final set three of questions.
Speaker:For people who are joining us late for some reason, these are questions that a bunch of scientists came up with that are supposed to make people fall in love when you sit across from each other, and ask them back to back over like a two hour period.
Speaker:We're doing it over a two year period instead with one question per week, so we fall in love with Book and Ocean.
Speaker:And this week's question is, alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner.
Speaker:Share a total of five items.
Speaker:Five items?
Speaker:I gotta think.
Speaker:It says a total, so one of you gets three and one of you gets two.
Speaker:Okay, so whoever goes first gets three and whoever goes last gets two.
Speaker:So we gotta flip a coin.
Speaker:Who's getting stu?
Speaker:Are they really scientists?
Speaker:Yes, they're scientists.
Speaker:I don't think loveologists.
Speaker:I think they're at best BuzzFeed, just BuzzFeed.
Speaker:Hey, BuzzFeed had a decent reporting division for a little while there before it got fucking killed because it didn't generate enough clicks in revenue.
Speaker:Yeah, if you if you have a problem with these questions or you doubt their scientific credentials, look up psychologist Arthur Aaron, Aaron with one a.
Speaker:So I'm probably pronouncing it wrong.
Speaker:And I assume he's a smart person.
Speaker:Brady assumes he isn't fair enough.
Speaker:All start so that Ocean gets three compliments.
Speaker:So Ocean, what a what a what a rock and bod rock and bod.
Speaker:Yeah, I do.
Speaker:I'm mostly boy pretty muscular book.
Speaker:Very intuitive, very inquisitive, not intuitive, inquisitive.
Speaker:It looks at the big picture a lot better than Ocean does.
Speaker:And Ocean values that Ocean very, very normally, normally very gentle, very kind soul book, very strong willed.
Speaker:He stands up for whatever he his opinion, whatever he believes in, he's standing for it and not stepping back down underhanded compliment.
Speaker:No, I think Ocean values that because Ocean does not have a very, he's not very strong willed.
Speaker:He kind of goes with the flow.
Speaker:Book, he stands up for stuff and Book and Ocean respects that.
Speaker:Ocean meek and as such will inherit the earth.
Speaker:I'm just kidding.
Speaker:No, I think Book appreciates that Ocean is humble and he could be boisterous and like arrogant, but instead he chooses to, you know, stay humble, stay.
Speaker:What's the word that I'm looking for?
Speaker:You're looking for the Kendrick Lamar quote, be humble.
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:Sit down.
Speaker:All right, Stu, now you have to say five nice things about us.
Speaker:Each of us.
Speaker:I thought you guys had to say five nice things about me, is how I interpreted it.
Speaker:No, we already did.
Speaker:You're answering the question.
Speaker:It's your turn.
Speaker:Or no, you have to say five nice things about Book and Ocean.
Speaker:Yeah, but where's the reciprocity?
Speaker:Oh, God, dude, I mean, we're doing this podcast for you.
Speaker:Do you really have to?
Speaker:I can do one about each of you and you.
Speaker:One of you can do two about me and one of you can do one about me.
Speaker:That seems good.
Speaker:Is that a total five then?
Speaker:Yeah, first, the sheer breadth of the amount of things that you are interested in and do is impressive to me.
Speaker:Like, I swear, every 10 minutes I learn something new about you that I'm like, holy cow, how does this man have so many hobbies?
Speaker:And work six million jobs and and do all these crazy things and then goes to a concert and there's roadies for people and follow people around.
Speaker:It's it's it's impressive.
Speaker:I'm very impressed by it.
Speaker:Oh, thank you.
Speaker:My favorite thing about Ocean is that he has he seems to have this good drive of always doing the right thing, but not in like an annoying, lawful, good, valid way.
Speaker:Where he always wants to do what's right, even though he's had terrible opportunity, like the things that have been thrown at him by me specifically because of his like visions and stuff are like horrific, where a lot of people would just either like give into it to be like, Oh, well, guess I'm either the bad guy now or I'm just going to remove myself from society.
Speaker:But he's like, No, stop.
Speaker:Got to still be good when I have control over what I'm doing.
Speaker:I can't be killing random people for too long.
Speaker:That control is going to be rested away from him, probably.
Speaker:So he's got to do what he can while he still has it.
Speaker:All right, since you're just complimenting our characters, I'm just going to compliment you as a DM.
Speaker:That's good.
Speaker:So I think you're a really good DM.
Speaker:And I think that you give us really good opportunities to forge our own path in the story.
Speaker:And I think you also give us really great improv.
Speaker:And I think that you are an incredibly engaging storyteller.
Speaker:Oh, thank you.
Speaker:So sweet.
Speaker:And also, I like you as a person, but I'm not going to talk about it.
Speaker:My favorite thing about Book is that he's not afraid to look like a big old idiot.
Speaker:I think that's my favorite thing about Book, too.
Speaker:Where?
Speaker:But like, I mean that in the way that he's convinced of his beliefs and he's going to stick by them and try to figure out the truth of things, even if everyone else is calling him crazy.
Speaker:Hell yeah, because he is crazy.
Speaker:One more nice thing about me.
Speaker:One last nice thing.
Speaker:Yes, since Brady said a nice thing about your DMing, I'll tie it back into a nice thing about your DMing.
Speaker:And just in general, and you have a very soothing voice.
Speaker:It's very comforting and nice to listen to.
Speaker:That's good for a podcast.
Speaker:Yeah, I'm glad.
Speaker:It is nice to listen to.
Speaker:Did I say nice to listen to?
Speaker:I think it was nice to listen to is what I heard.
Speaker:Thanks for making fun of my speech impediment, Brady.
Speaker:I only realized after listening to my own podcast that I stutter occasionally.
Speaker:Sometimes I do far worse than stutter.
Speaker:I just say the wrong words all the time.
Speaker:If I had to say nice things about myself, I would have said my eyes and.
Speaker:Well, our listeners don't know what your eyes look like.
Speaker:What was the word that I combined two episodes ago?
Speaker:It was a good one.
Speaker:Perpuscular.
Speaker:No, it was, oh, I combined inscrutable and incomprehensible.
Speaker:Or no, just yeah, inscrutable and incomprehensible.
Speaker:Inconscrutable.
Speaker:I said inconscrutable.
Speaker:I listened back to that, and I was like, I'm a fucking idiot.
Speaker:I mean, they're synonyms pretty much, so it's just a portmanteau.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I, for the listeners, I don't actually have a speech impediment.
Speaker:I'm just stupid and can't speak well.
Speaker:And I don't have a true starter.
Speaker:I am also just stupid.
Speaker:What is that office quote that I just open my mouth and start talking and I just hope my words find myself somewhere along the way or something like that?
Speaker:That is me all the time.
Speaker:I think I've told this to Brady about work where no matter what, it's an improv trick to you, where no matter what anyone says, you just say absolutely right away.
Speaker:And then your brain starts thinking and you start going forward.
Speaker:The funniest times are when the answer was not absolutely and you go like, absolutely.
Speaker:But if you do, and then completely contradict.
Speaker:And with those helpful improv tips that hopefully my players will follow in this episode, let's get back to the action.
Speaker:Previously, Ocean, you just learned that the strongest emotion next to the corpse of what is presumably Razor was hunger.
Speaker:Oh, God.
Speaker:Ocean, he shakes his head and he turns back to books like this.
Speaker:This was Razor.
Speaker:I know it was him.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Why would they do this?
Speaker:And then why would they not tell us why something nearby was hungry, Book?
Speaker:I feel it.
Speaker:Did you say hungry?
Speaker:Hungry.
Speaker:Was like Razor or something else?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:It's just I feel it that something was hungry when this happened.
Speaker:That's unsettling.
Speaker:Were they fattening us up to be eaten?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Have you found anything on that computer?
Speaker:Just do have I found anything on the computer.
Speaker:I start also searching for cannibalism.
Speaker:Nothing comes up for cannibalism.
Speaker:You see a lot of stuff come up with head removal.
Speaker:There's probably a fancy technical term from that.
Speaker:Head at me.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Decapitation.
Speaker:I think the word's decapitation.
Speaker:Medical headectomy is what you see written many, many times with every single autopsy that's performed.
Speaker:And the autopsies are tremendously light.
Speaker:There's not a lot of detail.
Speaker:And one of the first steps is always chopping off the head, is what you can find through these records.
Speaker:Do I find anything on head storage?
Speaker:On the notes at the bottom, it's like they process as they're finishing everything up, and it goes head disposal at certain time.
Speaker:And there's not like any quantity or tracking of it or anything like that.
Speaker:But it says disposed.
Speaker:Look up our names, Book.
Speaker:I type in Razor.
Speaker:Wait, do you want me to-
Speaker:Let's do it all.
Speaker:Ocean, do you mean like our names or?
Speaker:Okay, I search for Razor first.
Speaker:You see no Razor, but looking at the records, you see a bunch of John and Jane Doe's that are the most recent entries.
Speaker:There's the correct number of John and Jane Doe's for the amount of people that were with the Humvees plus all of the bodies minus one.
Speaker:Does that make sense?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:No, wait, what?
Speaker:All of the people you brought.
Speaker:Okay, who were alive?
Speaker:Excluding Head Suvius, U2 and Crandall.
Speaker:Got it.
Speaker:So all the ones you had left alive plus all of the bodies you had.
Speaker:Minus one.
Speaker:I would like, do they have like imaging?
Speaker:Yes, they have pictures for all of them.
Speaker:I wanna look for the one with the Razor tattoo.
Speaker:You find it pretty quickly.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:And it's description for its autopsy looks pretty similar to everything else where it's just head removal.
Speaker:And then documenting where the bullet wounds are.
Speaker:For him in particular, you see he was taken down by like eight bullets, which is impressive that he was around for that long.
Speaker:Seems like he was a real badass when she gets the crown bong here.
Speaker:So many regrets.
Speaker:And you see the areas, that's probably the only other abnormal thing you notice in this is the areas where the bullets are are marked very clearly on the image.
Speaker:And then also whether the bullets are removed or not, which it seems like they try to remove all the bullets.
Speaker:Does he have an x-ray?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I would like to look at his x-ray.
Speaker:You flip through, I know you keep saying him, but I'm just giving you more information.
Speaker:You flip through all the x-rays, none of them have any weird Vesuvius metal on their full bodies back before their heads are removed.
Speaker:So the head is in the x-ray?
Speaker:The head is in the x-ray, yes.
Speaker:Their x-ray pre head removal.
Speaker:Ocean, none of these people were doppelgangers.
Speaker:Why did they kill them?
Speaker:Why aren't they killing us right now?
Speaker:And I would like to search for Crandall.
Speaker:You search for Crandall.
Speaker:There is certainly not an autopsy record.
Speaker:You're able to go to that kind of monitoring screen that has access here too, where you're able to see the vitals of everyone and kind of click around the hospital.
Speaker:Very cool, would love to have this in real life.
Speaker:And you see Crandall has a yellow exclamation point near him that says it was disconnected.
Speaker:He's in the tanning bedroom, obviously.
Speaker:All the other ones are flatlined, except you and Ocean.
Speaker:And there is a yellow exclamation point at the roof entrance still.
Speaker:Oh, man.
Speaker:Wait, they're all flatlined?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I started scrolling through, Ocean, did you kill everyone?
Speaker:I don't think.
Speaker:Did you kill anyone?
Speaker:I didn't kill anybody that I'm aware of.
Speaker:When I was talking to The Voice, it told me that there was a lot of people out here that would make it hard for me to get to you, and they said they would help me, but I didn't think, I didn't know that it would kill them all.
Speaker:Ocean, what did The Voice say to you?
Speaker:Because I don't want to repeat everything.
Speaker:He's like, look, Book, I'm going to tell you everything that happened, and I share all the stuff that just occurred.
Speaker:You get pretty much everything.
Speaker:The only stuff you wouldn't get is the descriptions while he was out of it, because he doesn't know what happened.
Speaker:But yeah, you get all the important details.
Speaker:Ocean, this isn't...
Speaker:I don't think that things are friend.
Speaker:I don't think these people were our friend either, though.
Speaker:That's a good point.
Speaker:Can't argue with that logic.
Speaker:Let's go.
Speaker:Should we go get Crandall?
Speaker:Let's look for Crandall and let's get Vesuvius.
Speaker:Oh yeah.
Speaker:I searched for Vesuvius, dude.
Speaker:Nothing.
Speaker:Neither of them?
Speaker:Let's try Everest, because we did tell him he was Everest, right?
Speaker:Good point.
Speaker:Good point, Ocean.
Speaker:I type in Everest.
Speaker:You don't see his vitals in that vital screen, but you do find an X-ray of his head, where you see all the crazy machinery glowing through his brain stem.
Speaker:Do they say anything about where they put his head?
Speaker:It says stored in locker XL7.
Speaker:I would like to search for Ocean and Book, and I want to see where they put our stuff.
Speaker:Yeah, they have a record, and they are similarly numbered and lettered lockers that I won't come up with a name immediately for.
Speaker:That's okay.
Speaker:It seems like they'd be in the general vicinity of wherever his head is.
Speaker:Not far from XL7.
Speaker:Okay, since I can read.
Speaker:Sucker.
Speaker:I go, Ocean, can you try to find Crandall, and I'll try to get our stuff?
Speaker:Also, well, actually, maybe we should both go because there's a guy on the roof.
Speaker:Can we go to the roof before we talk to your friend?
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, of course.
Speaker:Okay, can we, Stu, can we run up to the roof?
Speaker:Yep, you guys are on the roof.
Speaker:The door opens up.
Speaker:Is the guy still there?
Speaker:Pebble's still in place, and the guy goes, are you here to finish me off?
Speaker:Just kill me.
Speaker:No one's coming.
Speaker:I'm gonna die up here.
Speaker:When Ocean sees him, he's gonna walk up to him, and I'll let Book talk to him first, but he's gonna kneel right beside him.
Speaker:Are you cool now?
Speaker:I've literally always been cool.
Speaker:You literally?
Speaker:Okay, listen, pal, you were gonna throw me under the bus.
Speaker:I don't like that.
Speaker:I was gonna get you back to your hospital bed where you belong, you're a sick individual.
Speaker:You shot me.
Speaker:Well, after you tried to kill me, you put me in the nuts first.
Speaker:You pushed me.
Speaker:I did not.
Speaker:You pushed me.
Speaker:You punched me in the gut.
Speaker:After you ran for my gun and radio.
Speaker:I went for your radio.
Speaker:Well, I felt like you were going for both.
Speaker:Book, I just-
Speaker:You sound a lot better.
Speaker:Can you stand up?
Speaker:Yeah, I think I can.
Speaker:Oh, he falls because his shoes are tied.
Speaker:And he's up.
Speaker:Book, I don't think he-
Speaker:Book, Ocean remembers the fact that he had an exclamation part over his head in comparison to everyone else who was flatlined.
Speaker:Book, I don't think he should go back inside.
Speaker:I think this is where he needs to stay if he wants to, you know.
Speaker:No, I would die up here.
Speaker:Ocean lays his-
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:What's up here?
Speaker:Oh, you're asking me?
Speaker:Nothing.
Speaker:That's why I would die.
Speaker:There's no food, no water.
Speaker:What's going on here?
Speaker:I really thought you were going to lock that access.
Speaker:If you just moved that pebble, I would have been stuck up here with no way out.
Speaker:Oh, but no, there's nothing up here.
Speaker:It's just, we're only going to smoke.
Speaker:What's hungry?
Speaker:Is this like a dad joke?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Sounds like it.
Speaker:You cut off our friends-
Speaker:I think you did it wrong, though.
Speaker:You cut off our friend's head.
Speaker:Oh, no, I did not.
Speaker:I promise you.
Speaker:I point-
Speaker:I pull his gun back out, and I point at him.
Speaker:You cut off-
Speaker:Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker:Not just one of our-
Speaker:all of our friend's heads.
Speaker:I do not know what you're talking about.
Speaker:Who?
Speaker:What is hungry?
Speaker:What do you mean, what is hungry?
Speaker:That literally means nothing to me.
Speaker:Are you-
Speaker:Give me a read-up person role.
Speaker:Can Ocean use Thingspeak on someone that's alive?
Speaker:It just says, no, something interesting.
Speaker:So I would imagine not, just from the way I've been using Thingspeak.
Speaker:Homeboy got an 11, so let's frickin get some answers.
Speaker:How long have-
Speaker:Well, I guess I want to know if he's telling the truth, so I'll spend one of my hold on that.
Speaker:Yeah, he has no idea what you mean when you say, what's hungry.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:And then, Ocean, you think you should stay here?
Speaker:All I know is that I think everybody inside is dead.
Speaker:Whoa, what?
Speaker:What?
Speaker:Look, listen, man, we didn't-
Speaker:That wasn't us.
Speaker:Something's going on here, something funky, something fishy.
Speaker:We're just-
Speaker:we're looking for answers just as much as you are.
Speaker:So if I untie your shoes and the knot that only I know how to untie, what are you thinking of doing?
Speaker:And I'm spending another hold.
Speaker:I would try to run inside and get some assistance, because I think you may have had some sort of psychotic break, and you may need a little bit of help here.
Speaker:How could I get you to not do that and just hang out with us, not do anything rash, and stay calm?
Speaker:And I'm spending my last hold.
Speaker:Well, I guess I'm not really in a position of power here.
Speaker:You have my gun.
Speaker:You're telling me everyone is dead inside, which is-
Speaker:We haven't confirmed that.
Speaker:We don't know for sure, but we looked at the VitalScience monitor, and everybody besides us, and you, and Crandall showed that they'd been flatlined.
Speaker:I'm actually worried that if we bring you back inside, whatever happened to them might happen to you.
Speaker:That's wild.
Speaker:Those-
Speaker:it's 100% uptime.
Speaker:Those things never go down.
Speaker:It's-
Speaker:there's this weird rotation of the nanobots where there's always, like, at least-
Speaker:I don't know the math on it, but there's like at least 60% always over some percent of charge that are in you at one time.
Speaker:And do you-
Speaker:Like, hold on.
Speaker:There's no, like, bugs like that.
Speaker:That's not how it works.
Speaker:Hold up.
Speaker:Nanobots are in us?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That's how we get all your vitals and stuff.
Speaker:That's how the hospital works.
Speaker:When did you put nanobots-
Speaker:Book thinks back to the things calling it his tear ducts and, like, literally just washes over with dread.
Speaker:When you shot us, is that-
Speaker:No, no, they're all in the hospital.
Speaker:They're just all through the air.
Speaker:So they're not in my blood right now or anything?
Speaker:Well, there's probably some in your blood, but they only give readings while you're in the hospital.
Speaker:So it's a HIPAA violation if they publish data outside of the bounds of the hospital.
Speaker:So they can't read us right now?
Speaker:No, I don't think so.
Speaker:Can we try something?
Speaker:I guess they're reading.
Speaker:But yeah, what do you want to try?
Speaker:Go walk in the door and walk back out.
Speaker:Oh, no, no.
Speaker:Oh, oh, oh.
Speaker:We're doing science, Ocean.
Speaker:Oh, Book, we're gonna.
Speaker:I think the nanobots are what killed him.
Speaker:Killed everybody.
Speaker:We don't.
Speaker:Wait, what?
Speaker:I think your nanobots might be revolting, maybe, potentially.
Speaker:I think somebody else is in control of these nanobots.
Speaker:But if you walk in and walk out and then nanobots disconnect, we can revive you.
Speaker:Wait.
Speaker:If they kill you...
Speaker:I don't get the reviving part.
Speaker:I'm following everything until the me being okay part.
Speaker:Listen, I just saw Ocean heal like a bunch of people.
Speaker:He seems like he's pretty good at it.
Speaker:He also seems to think I will die if I go in there.
Speaker:Maybe.
Speaker:So this seems like a bad idea to me.
Speaker:If you want to stay up here, that's fine.
Speaker:But I don't know how we'd get you down.
Speaker:He goes and like looks over the edge.
Speaker:And he's like, I don't know either.
Speaker:He looks right at Ocean and goes, Are you telling the truth?
Speaker:Do you really think I'm going to die if I go in there?
Speaker:I think that's probably what's going to happen.
Speaker:I can't say for sure, but all I know is what I saw on the monitors.
Speaker:And if what you're telling us about these nano machines or whatever they are that are in us, if they're what's healing us and the hospital is what's controlling them, if that hospital decides to take you out, I think that when you get back in the grid, I don't think anything good is going to happen.
Speaker:You can either come with us and we'll, if the moment we step inside, if you collapse or if anything bad happens, we'll bring you right back out and we'll heal you and we'll do CPR and whatever, all the good stuff.
Speaker:Or you can wait here.
Speaker:We'll try to fix whatever is going on and we'll come get you when it's safe.
Speaker:Give me a Sway Someone role.
Speaker:What am I swaying him to do?
Speaker:I don't care which one he does.
Speaker:Which one would you slightly prefer him to do?
Speaker:Probably to stay here.
Speaker:Well, I got a five, so I think he's coming with us.
Speaker:Yeah, no, that's not like he turns the ocean again.
Speaker:He's like, the hospital doesn't have a brain.
Speaker:Like the nanobots are just for monitoring and some emergency medical services.
Speaker:Like they can do stuff like attempt to correct your heartbeat if it didn't notice an arrhythmia or something like that.
Speaker:But it's not like they're not performing like brain surgery on you or anything crazy like that.
Speaker:So and the hospital doesn't have a mind of its own.
Speaker:Like it's very specific readings that would cause it to even try to fibrillate somewhere.
Speaker:Well, the hospital didn't have a mind of its own.
Speaker:Why does the hospital have a mind of its own?
Speaker:We don't know yet.
Speaker:Okay, well, let's go find out.
Speaker:Yeah, let's go.
Speaker:Can you show us where our stuff is?
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:Also, before he crosses the threshold of the door, I turn to him and I point a finger at him.
Speaker:What's on this top floor here?
Speaker:What?
Speaker:Oh, I think that's mostly storage.
Speaker:I don't my card doesn't have access to that one.
Speaker:What do you mean storage?
Speaker:You got plenty of storage everywhere else.
Speaker:Yeah, we don't need a hospital this big.
Speaker:So all the stuff that's like too unwieldy to be anywhere else.
Speaker:I've like I've been in there before.
Speaker:It's not like it's a big nanobot brain that eats everything.
Speaker:It's mostly just random shit like X-ray machines and stuff.
Speaker:Is he telling the truth?
Speaker:Yeah, to his knowledge.
Speaker:He looks like he doesn't know what's in there, but he's been in there a few times.
Speaker:It's off his normal access, but he's like helped people carry shit in.
Speaker:Ocean, do you think you can kick this door down?
Speaker:I can try.
Speaker:And I think by this point, we're walking in.
Speaker:Does this guy fucking die?
Speaker:Yeah, you guys go into the door and the second he crosses in, he just drops to the ground.
Speaker:Oh shit.
Speaker:The moment he drops, Ocean grabs him and he's going to sling him outside.
Speaker:He goes outside.
Speaker:You look his heart or you feel him.
Speaker:His heart is stopped.
Speaker:I touch him and I use healing touch.
Speaker:Nice.
Speaker:Give me your healing touch roll.
Speaker:Let's see if this works.
Speaker:First time ever on a science experiment.
Speaker:That's an eight.
Speaker:What does that mean?
Speaker:Now, this is so much more generous on a...
Speaker:Mixed success than everything's pink.
Speaker:Okay, so I can pick two.
Speaker:I think your touch removes their disease and purges their infection.
Speaker:Sounds very useful here.
Speaker:And then your touch heals their tissue damage and stops their bleeding.
Speaker:Also seems very relevant.
Speaker:And then I ask the emcee whether they heal one harm or two harm.
Speaker:Okay, you go, what does this look like when you touch him and he's magically healed with your weird powers?
Speaker:I don't think it looks like much like anything.
Speaker:From what Ocean's seen in his visions, it just seems like he was really good at mending people.
Speaker:From what I remember what you're saying, it's not like he had like Sunni, he just seemed like he had a power of healing.
Speaker:So when he touches them, I think he's touching different places where he thinks nerve synapses would be in his mind from flashes of doing this.
Speaker:From an onlooker, I suspect this just looks like Ocean puts his hands on his chest and then puts his hand like on his neck and it doesn't look like much of anything.
Speaker:But from Ocean's view, he's just like filled with the sensation of whatever.
Speaker:Well, he's just he feels whatever is wrong with the person and he kind of feels it himself.
Speaker:And then when he exhales, he just like breathes it out.
Speaker:OK, this one may be a little different than some of the other cases where you use this because as you touch him, you feel these thousands of nanobots inside of him still.
Speaker:And you just feel like these little signals coming from them as your hands are on him.
Speaker:And somehow you as you breathe out, they're just expelled from him.
Speaker:They come out of all the different orifices, including just like directly through skin.
Speaker:They're so small, they can just do that.
Speaker:And you feel all of them gone as you breathe out.
Speaker:And as you breathe in, you feel his heart rise with you and then just start beating again.
Speaker:And he heals too, and he goes, oh, shit.
Speaker:Oh, my balls are worse again.
Speaker:Oh, blood flow.
Speaker:I don't like it.
Speaker:I don't like it.
Speaker:What happened?
Speaker:You died.
Speaker:Well, shit.
Speaker:I told you it would bring you back.
Speaker:I didn't think that would work.
Speaker:I'd like to put my hand out to pull him up.
Speaker:He looks at you for a second and like squints his eyes, and then he reaches for your hand.
Speaker:I don't think you'll die again if you go back inside, man.
Speaker:I look at the puddle of nanobots.
Speaker:Is it like still moving?
Speaker:You can't see them at all.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:They're like they're nano.
Speaker:He tries going back in and he doesn't die.
Speaker:He carefully he puts like one foot in and then he slowly drags.
Speaker:He somehow moves in where his heart is the last thing to go into the room.
Speaker:It's the other side news.
Speaker:I just got four experience for weird because I've rolled a shit ton of weird and I'm going to go ahead and use this to go ahead and get an achievement that gives me another weird.
Speaker:Nice.
Speaker:So my weird is now turning into plus two.
Speaker:Let me add a comment here.
Speaker:You're now very weird.
Speaker:Hell yeah.
Speaker:I would like to I want to grab Ocean's arm and I was like Ocean that we might be able to help everyone else.
Speaker:It might not be too late.
Speaker:Book, you'd probably know.
Speaker:It's getting real close to the time where a body can't be without blood pumping.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You guys were in the morgue for quite a while.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Book turns to Ocean.
Speaker:I don't know what else we can what if there's anything else we can do, but I think we should get these nanobots out of us.
Speaker:Oh.
Speaker:Just in case.
Speaker:Should we like electrocute each other?
Speaker:I managed to get him out of the other guy.
Speaker:And he holds his hand out and is like, do you trust me, Book?
Speaker:I predator high five.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:I trust you.
Speaker:Ocean is also going to attempt to use healing touch again.
Speaker:Oh, that's perfect.
Speaker:That's perfect.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I'm going to attempt to use healing touch again.
Speaker:That apparently Ocean's really good at healing.
Speaker:That's a full success.
Speaker:That is a that's a eight plus two.
Speaker:Yeah, that's an 11.
Speaker:Does that mean you get to?
Speaker:I get to choose things.
Speaker:I get to know it's the same.
Speaker:I just get to choose three.
Speaker:Does it seven through nine?
Speaker:I choose two.
Speaker:Does it undiviate book septum?
Speaker:So on a 10 plus choose three, my options are you touch your touch heals their pain.
Speaker:Their touch heals their tissue damage.
Speaker:Your touch knits their bones back together, and your touch removes the disease.
Speaker:So I'm picking the removes the disease, of course, because that's going to get that damn infection out of us.
Speaker:And since you're injured, I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to take your pain away, and I'm going to put your tissue damage and stop their bleeding.
Speaker:As you let go of his hand, you feel your leg that had the bullet wound in it is just completely healed up.
Speaker:Nothing wrong with it.
Speaker:Ocean, you feel the nanobots from within you and Book have just dissipated.
Speaker:Nice, nice, nice, nice.
Speaker:Cool.
Speaker:So I get both of my health back?
Speaker:Yep, you heal too.
Speaker:Hell yeah.
Speaker:Let's go get our stuff.
Speaker:Well, first, let's go get Crandall.
Speaker:Can we smash cut to the tanning bedroom?
Speaker:Yeah, the door to the tanning bedroom gets kicked open, and the tanning bed, it's like one out of seven bulbs are still on, and Crandall's still inside of it with his little goggles on.
Speaker:And he goes, oh, what are you guys doing here?
Speaker:And he stands up.
Speaker:Is he naked?
Speaker:Just almost entirely.
Speaker:And he goes, he has Spider-Man underwear on, and he turns and stands up from the tanning bed, and immediately collapses on the ground.
Speaker:Okay, Ocean rushes over to him and places his hand on his chest, the same that he did with the other two.
Speaker:Don't fail this one.
Speaker:From all the tanning, I was hoping it fried the nanobots, but I guess it's still technically in there.
Speaker:So the tanning bed is a Faraday cage.
Speaker:It's amazing.
Speaker:Okay, that's a seven.
Speaker:Thank God I got plus two.
Speaker:Yeah, if you didn't just level up, that would have been a failure, and Crandall would be dead forever.
Speaker:So yeah, I'm gonna do the same.
Speaker:I'm gonna heal their tissue damage and stop their bleeding, and I'm going to expel the disease.
Speaker:The second you touch him, he starts getting back up, and when he collapsed, he smashed his head on a metal corner of the table there.
Speaker:And you guys look at him as it just seals back up and he shakes his head and he goes, Hey guys, is it your turn?
Speaker:Book looks horrified.
Speaker:Book is horrified.
Speaker:Book looks at Ocean like, What the fuck, man?
Speaker:And go, Crandall, can you put...
Speaker:Sorry, those are some nice jocks, but can you put some clothes on?
Speaker:Yeah, no problem.
Speaker:Crandall, we have to get out of here.
Speaker:45 minutes later.
Speaker:You guys open the door outside of it and you see just all of the people working in the hospital.
Speaker:You find her just collapsed on the ground.
Speaker:What the fuck?
Speaker:As you check them out, they look very dead.
Speaker:Seem very dead.
Speaker:I'm sorry about your friends.
Speaker:Can you take us to the lockers, please?
Speaker:Yeah, and he's checking multiple bodies even after you guys have clearly decided all these people are dead.
Speaker:Everyone he runs up to, he's looking for a pulse, he's turning them over, seeing who it is.
Speaker:He kind of shakes his head and goes, yeah, we gotta get out of here.
Speaker:I don't know why the nanobots aren't already back in us, killing us now, though.
Speaker:That part doesn't make sense to me.
Speaker:When did the nanobots get put in you?
Speaker:They're normally just in the air, in the hospital, everywhere.
Speaker:Book holds his breath.
Speaker:Sorry, I thought I explained that before.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:I thought that there was something in between us getting shot up with ketamine and us getting x-rayed that involved nanobots going.
Speaker:No, the nanobots just go in and out.
Speaker:You don't have your little special collection of nanobots.
Speaker:There are nanobots, and they monitor everyone.
Speaker:I don't like that, sir.
Speaker:Yeah, let's find our stuffing.
Speaker:We gotta get out of here.
Speaker:I don't believe you.
Speaker:I think they're too small for you to know if they're sterile or not.
Speaker:Yeah, but no, we do need to get out of here.
Speaker:I don't like that.
Speaker:My best guess is maybe because the power's so low.
Speaker:But if that's the case, then they could just recharge still.
Speaker:And I think we're on a clock, is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker:Got it.
Speaker:All right, we need to find Vesuvius.
Speaker:True.
Speaker:We need to get our stuff and grab as many medical supplies as you can.
Speaker:I turn to Dude Who Works here.
Speaker:I need you to open every single locker and just get whatever looks useful and put it in our jeep.
Speaker:Is the jeep...
Speaker:Wait, did we ever find the jeep?
Speaker:You guys never made it to tell.
Speaker:Where's our jeep, bro?
Speaker:It's on the first floor.
Speaker:It's on the ground floor.
Speaker:OK.
Speaker:Well, that's what they told me.
Speaker:I haven't seen it.
Speaker:I need you specifically, specifically everything in these three.
Speaker:I give them the three lockers.
Speaker:Everything in those three and anything else that's even remotely useful.
Speaker:Also, where do you put people's heads when you cut them off?
Speaker:Oh, after the autopsies, there's a head shoot.
Speaker:I don't know where it goes.
Speaker:You don't know where it goes?
Speaker:What good are you?
Speaker:What do you do here?
Speaker:I don't work in the morgue, is what I do here.
Speaker:Just go get our stuff.
Speaker:Crandall, can you help him get our stuff?
Speaker:Yeah, no problem.
Speaker:Get your stuff, figure out where your stuff is.
Speaker:He said that 12 times.
Speaker:OK.
Speaker:He was like, I want my stuff right here.
Speaker:He clearly doesn't.
Speaker:Should we go look at, talk to your, see what's going on?
Speaker:I think we should go and figure it out who this is that's helping us and why and what they want out of this place.
Speaker:He says that as we're jogging down the stairs.
Speaker:You guys make it to the bottom floor.
Speaker:You heft that heavy door open and Book, you know, it is a bad idea to go in that reactor room like it is.
Speaker:You recognize it as certainly a nuclear power plant.
Speaker:It was probably providing well over the amount of energy needed for this hospital.
Speaker:But you're not like a nuclear scientist or anything.
Speaker:You don't know anything besides that besides radiation in general is bad.
Speaker:And that room is getting absolutely bathed in it.
Speaker:Ocean, you went in here?
Speaker:I did.
Speaker:I don't think I can go in there.
Speaker:Are you OK?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I'm healing people with my touch book.
Speaker:I don't know what's happening.
Speaker:Oh, man.
Speaker:And Book runs in.
Speaker:It's the same as when I saw in that terminal at Hickory's place.
Speaker:I think it's the same entity.
Speaker:I don't think that's good.
Speaker:Or is that good?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Wait, did I?
Speaker:Well, I already said that I ran in.
Speaker:So I guess I run in.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:And then you run in.
Speaker:You're running to the terminal.
Speaker:You run up.
Speaker:What are you trying to do?
Speaker:Just see it.
Speaker:Well, Ocean said he talked to it, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I yell, hello?
Speaker:When Ocean comes in, he taps on it and is like, hey, are you still there?
Speaker:Hello, Ocean in Red MacBook.
Speaker:Wait, do I hear that?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Oh, shit.
Speaker:Oh, shit.
Speaker:Hi.
Speaker:Who are you?
Speaker:I'm one of Ocean's oldest friends.
Speaker:What's your name?
Speaker:We used to work together.
Speaker:Am I going to die in here?
Speaker:Let me check your vitals.
Speaker:You should go to one of the monitoring rooms.
Speaker:I don't think so.
Speaker:I think we should go into the monitoring rooms.
Speaker:I don't think I have time.
Speaker:It's nice to meet you.
Speaker:How do we reach you once we leave this room?
Speaker:I'm sending people to collect you right now.
Speaker:Just hold on tight.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:We'll go wait upstairs.
Speaker:Is that all right?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Wait in the monitoring room so I can check you.
Speaker:Ocean, I was not able to check your vitals.
Speaker:I think the nanobots are having some issues.
Speaker:I may transfer more power to this station.
Speaker:Oh, no.
Speaker:Hold on.
Speaker:Let's to this station where we're at right now.
Speaker:No, hold on.
Speaker:I don't think we need any more power.
Speaker:We're...
Speaker:How about we go outside and we can wait for the people?
Speaker:We'll wait for your people.
Speaker:And then they can look at us.
Speaker:My calculations say it has exactly as much power as required right now.
Speaker:But I was trying to help you.
Speaker:But if you would like to live outside, that is not a problem with me.
Speaker:Before we go, can you tell us what they were doing with our friends?
Speaker:They were eating your friends.
Speaker:Oh, shit.
Speaker:What do you mean?
Speaker:Moreland was a terrible cannibalistic cold-fleeter.
Speaker:But he gave us vegetables.
Speaker:Vegetables.
Speaker:Yeah, those were really vegetables, right?
Speaker:How do you know he's a cannibal then?
Speaker:Based on the data records in New York.
Speaker:What the fuck?
Speaker:What did you see?
Speaker:What did you see?
Speaker:What did you see?
Speaker:She pulls up one of those monitoring screens on this.
Speaker:This tiny terminal is not made to be showing the type of stuff that she's been showing me with it.
Speaker:It's like for interacting with this actual power plant system.
Speaker:And all the proportions are distorted and stuff like that.
Speaker:But you see that monitoring screen right now has a ton of people flatlining, and it scrolls back through time.
Speaker:And you see it quickly flashing through days, weeks beforehand.
Speaker:And there are multiple times where it has people come in, and then they flatline, and then there are autopsy records recorded from them, head disposals.
Speaker:I've come to the conclusion that the only reason they would be removing their heads is to eat the rest of them.
Speaker:That's an interesting theory.
Speaker:That means they are dangerous.
Speaker:They were dangerous.
Speaker:They sure were.
Speaker:Book, I look at Ocean.
Speaker:Are there any cameras in this room?
Speaker:Yes, there are lots of cameras in this room.
Speaker:This is a heavily monitored location.
Speaker:I look at Ocean like literally my bottom lip is quivering.
Speaker:All right, pal, let's go wait upstairs for our friends to come save us.
Speaker:How long until they get here?
Speaker:They should be there in two minutes and 12 seconds.
Speaker:Well, let's go up to see them right now.
Speaker:See you soon, Ocean.
Speaker:Love you, bye.
Speaker:That puts a nominous spin on it.
Speaker:And the screen turns off.
Speaker:So the Ocean grabs Book and is like, come on, let's go.
Speaker:And he runs out.
Speaker:And then when we reach the staircase is like, I think the yellow Humvee people are about to come knocking on our door.
Speaker:I don't think Morlans was a cannibal man.
Speaker:I did not get that impression at all.
Speaker:I don't know what the hell is going on.
Speaker:And we have to get out of here.
Speaker:I don't think he was.
Speaker:I don't think he was really a cannibal man.
Speaker:He seemed nice.
Speaker:He gave us vegetables.
Speaker:That eggplant was good.
Speaker:I don't know what is true and what isn't at this point, Book, but I know we cannot go with that.
Speaker:I don't trust the voice of people coming.
Speaker:You see, Meanie is already at the Jeep.
Speaker:The Humvee is actually has the tires fully off of it right now.
Speaker:It is completely unusable.
Speaker:But he's at the Jeep and he is holding Vesuvius out at arm's reach.
Speaker:And he's like, you did not tell me that this was one of the things you wanted.
Speaker:Well, explain on the way.
Speaker:Get in the fucking car.
Speaker:Are you OK?
Speaker:No time.
Speaker:Oh, shit.
Speaker:Get the fuck in the car.
Speaker:I've been screaming in darkness for weeks.
Speaker:Where's Crandall?
Speaker:Is Crandall here?
Speaker:Yep, I'm here.
Speaker:Do we have Ocean looks in the back helmet?
Speaker:What all we got?
Speaker:Basically nothing.
Speaker:Nothing.
Speaker:Oh, is all of us is our stuff in there at least?
Speaker:Yes, he got the stuff from the lockers, and it looks like he's gotten some of his personal goods.
Speaker:But there's like pretty much nothing else.
Speaker:We didn't get any medical supplies.
Speaker:The alternative was he's going he was going to still be in the hospital when you guys came out and had to go to the hospital.
Speaker:Well, no, I think we were pretty clear, like just get stuff in the lockers and then get in the car.
Speaker:Yeah, we jump in.
Speaker:Does the jeep turn over?
Speaker:The keys aren't there.
Speaker:No, they were in my stuff, weren't they?
Speaker:No.
Speaker:What do you mean?
Speaker:They went in.
Speaker:They went and got your jeep.
Speaker:Hold on.
Speaker:Hold up, Book.
Speaker:Ocean pops out of the car.
Speaker:He pulls over the he's using his strength.
Speaker:He rips out the bottom of the the electrical panel using his knowledge of tinkering with cards.
Speaker:He's going to tip the hot wire.
Speaker:This bad boy, give me I think this is a weird role, a weird role, a weird role.
Speaker:Just give me a weird role.
Speaker:OK, this is a discount.
Speaker:Things speak.
Speaker:That's a nine quickly know exactly what wires you have to do, but you are pretty haphazard with it.
Speaker:You realize you do not have a lot of time.
Speaker:And as you rip the stuff away, some other probably important wires seem to break to you, but you connect to and you hear the engine starting to turn over and it comes to life.
Speaker:You are afraid to turn it off.
Speaker:Ocean turns to look like I think this Jeep may be seeing the end of its days pretty soon here, Book, but let's get the hell out.
Speaker:I'm going to fucking we'll talk about this later.
Speaker:And I step on it.
Speaker:You peel off.
Speaker:Give me a navigate some trothles.
Speaker:Navigate.
Speaker:That's a.
Speaker:God, that was a ten.
Speaker:A ten.
Speaker:OK, choose two, I think.
Speaker:I don't think we should lose anything.
Speaker:I don't think we should be followed and I don't think we should lose.
Speaker:That means we get lost.
Speaker:I'll take getting lost at this point over.
Speaker:Because I think if we lose anything, the thing we're going to lose is probably the car or Vesuvius's head or the guy or cradle or whatever it says.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Or some of our stuff.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I don't know what.
Speaker:I know Stu's a sadist, so I'm sure he's going to take something important from us, we say.
Speaker:OK, we motherfuck.
Speaker:OK, we don't get followed and we don't lose anything.
Speaker:The way you're trying to get back to Hamlet opening, you're just trying to get the fuck away from here.
Speaker:Well, I was going to say we're trying to get back to Hamlet opening.
Speaker:I think from the way that we peeled out at this point, we're just trying to get away and make sure they're not following us.
Speaker:So I think in the panic, we probably just like dive around and just start driving crazy.
Speaker:You peel out and you're going around corners and annoyingly, Meanie seems to be a backseat driver.
Speaker:He's from this area and he's telling you to like make these turns.
Speaker:But he's usually telling you like way too late for the speed you're driving, trying to go around these things.
Speaker:So you're trying to like loop around and get away from the hospital.
Speaker:And he's like, no, no, no, that's a dead end.
Speaker:And you make it sharp right.
Speaker:Eventually you hear another car.
Speaker:What would you do?
Speaker:Would you try to hide or try to just peel out?
Speaker:Does it sound like an H2?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I kind of think we would peel out.
Speaker:Yeah, I think I'm not stopping for sure.
Speaker:Yeah, no, we can't stop the car.
Speaker:Especially given that Ocean ripped out a bunch of important wires in my car.
Speaker:You continue on, you heal as H2.
Speaker:You just turn in the opposite direction from where the sound's coming.
Speaker:As you hear another car roaring through the streets, it's sound echoing through this building.
Speaker:And you just turn down another alleyway.
Speaker:See, the way that you said that makes me feel like that was a friendly person.
Speaker:You made your choice.
Speaker:You continue deeper into Subtropolis to try to lose their trail before you make it back to the Long Dark.
Speaker:We'll in the future adjudicate where you're trying to access the Long Dark from.
Speaker:But you go deeper into Subtropolis, you notice that Meanie is looking very uncomfortable as you're going into this area.
Speaker:And he's like, I don't know what's around here.
Speaker:We usually tried to stay away.
Speaker:We haven't had any traders come through here.
Speaker:But you feel like you've made a good distance between you and the hospital.
Speaker:You can turn back.
Speaker:You're on the back side of the hospital now, which has better view of the reactor cooling tower.
Speaker:So you can actually see it from where you're at.
Speaker:And you see this tower there.
Speaker:Just then it switches over to noon and all the lights turn out.
Speaker:For a second, you think you see this flash of that same exact tower right on top of where the hospital is.
Speaker:Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Oops!
Speaker:All Apocalypses.
Speaker:Happy Buy Awareness Week, everyone, which is a great time of the year to think about all the great music made by buy people, from David Bowie to Billy Joe Armstrong.
Speaker:Make sure you find the nearest buy person and thank them for their excellent music taste.
Speaker:This week, the music and editing was performed by Stu Masterson.
Speaker:That logo was still created by Brady McDonough.
Speaker:And as always, Jacob refuels our zeppelins between skyports.
Speaker:Love you, bye.
Speaker:Bye.
Speaker:Sounds like it's going to be raining cats and dogs.
