Episode 23

Episode 23: Hospital Food

In need of significant medical attention, Book and Ocean finally make it to a hospital. But their welcome is not very hospitable.

This one is delicious.

Transcript
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Welcome to Oops!

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All Apocalypses, a show where we explore the collapse of society by playing fun, tabletop, role-playing games.

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I'm joined by two excellent co-hosts.

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Aw, such a sweet intro this time.

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Hey everybody, I'm, what is my name?

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Brady.

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I'm Brady, and I play Book McGready, a super scared sleuth who just peed his pants a little bit.

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Again, I already did that one.

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I already did that one.

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See, that's why I did something like calling you good co-hosts, because I know I didn't say that before.

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You know you never, ever sit back and sit back.

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Alright, hold on, I got this.

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And I play Book McGready, a super scared sleuth who is grateful for his second head.

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And I'm Jacob, I play Ocean, a gentle giant who, much like real giants, is very easily felled by blow darts, apparently.

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A little David and Goliath slash.

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Are you ready for your first ketamine dream?

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I am very excited for a ketamine dream.

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This week, we want to jump back into the action very quickly, since most of you are near dead or completely unconscious.

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I'm one away from death, baby.

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One away from death.

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Let's quickly do our question to fall in love.

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This week, our question is, what does friendship mean to you?

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Book likes it.

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Next question.

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No, like, oh my god, friendship is everything to Book.

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Why don't you have very many friends then?

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Well, so Book is very picky about his friends.

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So friendship means a lot to Book because he didn't have much of a family, you know, as a younger person.

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And so the people who chose to be around him were extremely special to him.

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Oh, that's sweet.

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Because his parents didn't.

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Yes, they chose explicitly to not be there.

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I think Ocean will actually be kind of boring, but kind of the same answer for Book, to be honest.

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I think at this point, Ocean can count the friends he has on one finger.

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What about the head of Vesuvius?

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That's true.

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He does have the head of Vesuvius.

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I guess now he has two whole friends.

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But for the longest time, he probably only really felt accepted or comforted by Book.

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So I think for him, friendship is almost like a familial kind of bond.

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Crandall canonically likes you more.

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That's true.

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Yeah, and I was going to say, I bet real Vesuvius likes you more now too, because I called him an idiot last episode.

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Also, you know what I realized before we jump into the action?

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I realized two things.

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One, I didn't hear you correctly when we were recording last episode.

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And Razor has some crazy intel that we need to survive.

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We need him to survive so that we can talk to him, because I missed it last episode.

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But Stu said that he is the one who was delivering what I imagine was the dot matrix.

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Oh my God, I glossed over that completely too.

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I was also surprised you guys glossed over it.

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He was the one who delivered it to the people in the Yellow Humvees.

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Do you know why?

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Do you know why?

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Actually, I think we glossed over it so much, because when I was re-listening to the episode, Book almost immediately cuts him off after he says that.

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Because I didn't hear it.

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Genuinely, I didn't hear him say, like, it has me deliver to him, and they don't say anything.

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So I was like, OK, cool.

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You guys just thought I was making a funny joke to give them the name.

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You have a cute name for them.

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Great.

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So we definitely got to circle back to that.

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The other thing that I was thinking about was we found the body of Vesuvius' friend, right?

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Where where they were attacked by the Nine Inch Nails monster.

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Yeah.

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But we also found Book's body where he was attacked.

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So there's a chance she's alive and is in the tower that she was, you know, saved by the wolves as well.

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OK, that's that's something I never even considered.

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So I think we should save her body too.

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I think it's a little late, though.

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Yeah, I think she got buried, but she could still be alive for sure.

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You guys are collecting too many bodies.

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That's very uncomfortable.

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Well, we're unloading all of them.

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That's books following.

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It's just dead people.

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We're unloading them all except for books right now.

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So very quickly, my answer to the friendship question is it has to be something with a concrete metric.

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So you should always ask, how far would I drive to pick them up if they call and need help?

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And the answer should always be 200 miles, no more, no less.

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200 miles, no more or less.

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If you're willing to do that for somebody, you can consider them a friend.

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Yes.

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Let's get back to the action.

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Book, you see all of your friends and colleagues drop around you.

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You definitely notice they have these darts inside of them, because you can see one very clearly poking in to the head of Vesuvius that is on your shoulder.

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Give me a Rita Citral.

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Ooh, okay.

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Where are my mice?

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Your mice?

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My dice.

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Ooh, what is that?

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What's nine plus two?

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Eleven.

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Eleven?

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That's a tough one.

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Ask me four questions.

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Ask you four questions.

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Okay, let's do it.

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Right off the right, rip, rip, rip off the wrap.

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Okay, so my first question is absolutely going to be, how close are the wolves?

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You feel like they are probably less than five miles behind you in the long dark still.

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Interesting.

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Okay, so the darts are not from the wolves.

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No, but you feel like you get the sense of dread and that they are enclosing on you.

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Okay, that's good to know.

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That's very good to know.

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The other thing that I would like to know is, who is the source of the most pain or fear here?

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Real Vesuvius is currently still awake, and he is panicking right now.

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No, the source of pain.

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The source of pain and fear?

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Who's causing the pain and fear in Vesuvius?

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Oh, okay.

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I guess that's...

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I misread that.

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You see him looking around, trying to notice anything out of the ordinary that would cause these sudden darts to appear in people's necks besides the one guy waving, and he seems to catch some movement to the side, and he definitely turns and is looking in one direction.

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Got it.

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Because I was going to say, the one waved at us, which seemed friendly.

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So I didn't know if maybe there's a third party at play here.

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So I'll say, what should I be able to look out for?

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You see that Vesuvius is reaching for his gun right now, which may not be a great idea.

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And then you also do see that guard that waved at you before, he is holding up a gun that is certainly not a tranquilizer gun.

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Okay, so what I would like to do, how far am I from Vesuvius?

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Like two feet.

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You guys are just walking near each other.

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Okay, great.

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So what I would like to do is I would like to start to waver, like I would like to sort of start to go a little wobbly, and then I'd like to fall, like kind of slump onto Vesuvius's arm that was reaching for his gun, both to look like I passed out and to prevent him from enacting any violence.

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Okay, I think this is going to be an act under fire roll.

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Not to try something challenging?

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That one's worse for you, but I don't think so.

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No, I think this is keeping you cool.

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Yeah, that's fair.

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I agree with that.

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I'm one way from an XP on aggro, so that's fine.

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Well, maybe you should try to be a little more aggressive, be aggressive.

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That is a six, so I failed.

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Oh, that sucks.

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That fucking was such a good idea.

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Do I get advantage because it's a good idea?

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Absolutely not.

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Fuck.

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How much are you committing to being looking like you're unconscious?

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Very hard.

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Okay, you dropped to the ground, you do feel yourself graze across his arm.

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He kind of jumps and star holds and moves away from you.

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So you collapse all the way to the ground.

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Do you like close your eyes, try to?

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I mean, I say eyes stay open, but I'm going to try to keep them from moving.

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Because a lot of times when you pass out, your fucking eyes are like, bam.

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But you also sometimes shit yourself.

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So I'm not that committed.

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You see Vesuvius pull out his gun and a bullet goes straight through his heart.

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Oh, and he just collapses on the ground.

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There's this loud echoing boom.

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And you see the guard smoke coming from the barrel of his gun.

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My second friend.

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Oh, God.

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Oh, man.

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Fuck.

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Do you stay on the ground?

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Yeah, I do.

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Fuck.

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I'm too stunned to move.

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You see a group of people kind of come out from that garden in the plaza, some like hiding behind bushes.

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You see the doors to the hospital open up.

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They're starting to get close enough.

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You think it may be may want to try to like close your eyes or hide more.

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If you don't want to be obvious that you're faking it.

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Or do you want to try to remain still, look like you're fully asleep?

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Or do you want to try to like talk to him?

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Oh, man.

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Sorry, what you said it would be better for me to close my eyes.

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If you don't, they're going to probably realize you're not fully tranquilized.

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Oh, right, because I feel the move.

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I'm going to.

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Yeah, I think I'm actually going to I'm going to like start to like reach out towards Vesuvius and make it seem like I'm sort of like half under.

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OK, like you're finding this is going to be another act under fire.

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Oh, well, that's a 14.

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You see the closest one notices you reaching out and he goes, stop moving.

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Just let let the medicine wash over you.

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Come on, just close your eyes.

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Just relax.

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It'll all be OK.

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Who are you?

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It's OK.

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Just just come on.

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Breathe through it.

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Just breathe through it and you'll be on the second.

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We'll take care of you.

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Don't worry.

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And I'm going to pretend to pass out, I think.

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Doctor, now I'm not making you roll it.

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I'm not going to make you roll a third time to do that.

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So you're still conscious, but you're kind of keeping your eyes closed.

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You feel people trying to pick you up eventually.

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You hear a lot of movement of the other people getting picked up, and you have two people pick you up.

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I guess I'm guessing you're trying to remain like completely limp.

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Just let them like drag you along.

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You feel yourself getting carried into the hospital.

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The doors open up.

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In here, it's actually refreshingly cool.

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Seems like they have like nice working AC, nice cold hospital air.

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And you feel yourself getting carried for a while and eventually get put down on a table.

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Can I crack my little eyeball?

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Just a little eyeball, just a little bit.

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Just a teeny, teeny tiny, just a teeny tiny bit.

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Okay, you see Ocean on a table next to you, fully passed out.

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And we're going to move to Ocean in just a second.

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But Ocean is fully passed out, and it looks like they are positioning some sort of machinery on top of him.

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Okay, do I still have my sword?

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Yeah, it's in your belt.

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My sword came?

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Yeah.

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Interesting.

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Does it look, does the machine look dangerous?

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It looks like it has a medical purpose.

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I think I'm going to let this play out.

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But what I would like to do is I'd like to get position my left hand on my scabbard so I can do a quick draw.

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So I'm ready to zip.

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Okay, that'll probably be a roll when you try to do that.

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Like not, no, but I'm ready for it.

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Yeah, you're saying you're ready for it.

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But when you're at the moment of attempting something, that's probably gonna be a roll.

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Ocean, you feel a little pinprick and you have a nice warm feeling wash over you as you have a good little night night time.

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Unfortunately, your sleep is racked with visions.

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As is tradition.

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And it seems to be flowing through like all your previous visions were almost like one main event, right?

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Like something was happening and it seemed like there was so much importance to that one event that was going on that you're tracking with your mind.

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But this one seems to be washing through just moments of your life that you certainly do not remember.

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They have you leading a team of people who look very much like the silent.

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I don't like calling them that.

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Leading the silent on these attacks, you see yourself kind of executing these complex maneuvers.

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You seem to be understanding what these weird hand symbols are that they're giving you and clearing out areas, killing dozens of people flash through your mind.

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You see all of their faces just like right as the bullet leaves your gun or right as you hit them with some huge heavy device.

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It kind of slows down in this one scene of you in this massive room.

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It seems like there's some sort of negotiation going on.

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It looks like this is maybe an empty parking garage and not too dissimilar from the one where your cars are currently parked.

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And you see two people talking at a distance and your vision just focuses on one of the guards on the outskirts.

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And you just get this feeling about him, like you know what's about to happen.

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And then shit goes down.

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Someone pulls a gun.

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There's some shot and you react quickly, put a bullet in the gas tank of one of the cars, and it immediately somehow erupts into flame and just incinerates this person who is standing there that you just had this unnatural fixation on.

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It moves forward even further in your life.

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You feel yourself getting a little older, like you felt like maybe you were like an older teenager at that time.

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Like you still felt very young.

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Yeah, I know you're still wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, but you felt very young, but you see your hands looking a little older, your backs hurting a little more in your vision.

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And sitting close to home.

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And you see yourself healing people.

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You see you're no longer the like point man leading these attacks.

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You're working strategy.

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You're talking to people in these complex rooms with all these screens and buttons, and you're typing away on it and completely understanding it.

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You understand how to read, you see notes, you see books, and you can read them.

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And then your vision, you completely understand it.

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You seem to take on this healing role where there's something in you that these other people don't have.

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Where you're able not with a bunch of knowledge or books or medical equipment, but you're able to just touch people and heal.

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And you unlock two new moves.

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Do you know what two moves it is based on my descriptions?

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Based on the descriptions, you have given me healing touch.

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And sent visions of death is my best guess.

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That is accurate.

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I like that.

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I think that was the cooler option.

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That's why I wanted you to pick, because I think I was leaning towards the more min-maxed option.

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And so I wanted you to be the one to be like, now we're getting the cooler option.

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I don't know what I cut from the last episode, but Ocean leveled up last episode and chose something that basically unlocked his hidden potential, and I got to make or choose two moves from a list to give him.

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And those are the two that I gave him.

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During these visions, there's a moment where you kind of groggily open your eyes and you notice you're on a cold metal table, and out of the corner of your eye, you swear you see Book with his eyes open looking at you, but it's just one eye.

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He's like awkwardly really squeezing one closed while looking at the other one.

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That doesn't make any sense to you.

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You don't know why you'd be here.

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You don't know why Book would be awake watching you.

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But you notice there's this huge machine above you that just starts giving this like whirring sound, and you kind of try to move out of the way, but you notice none of your muscles seem to be working correctly.

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It's just like trying to move through the heaviest jello of your life.

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You then succumb back to unconsciousness.

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This machine stops whirring, whirring, whirling, whirring.

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This machine stops humming, and on a screen against the wall, you see the skeletal structure of Ocean.

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Looks nice.

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Anything interesting there?

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Not really.

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It looks pretty normal.

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And you notice one of the men here, actually the one who talked to you, looks up at the screen, drags it with his finger, and it rotates around in live action.

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This looks way better than the touchscreen you helped Crandle with.

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Nice.

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Yeah.

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And he says...

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Way to shit on my little invention.

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That's fine.

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He says you didn't invent an iPad.

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A Samsung tablet.

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It was a Toshiba, first of all.

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Toshiba Touch.

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And you hear this guy go.

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He looks clear.

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I would like to sort of groan, do a nice like...

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And then I want to kind of like groggily say, yellow humvees are coming.

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Give me a Sway Someone roll.

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Cool.

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Yes.

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The cool stat is used for that.

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12.

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My luck is turned, baby.

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That same guy comes over and he looks down at you, and he kind of pulls down on your eyelid.

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Are you still just trying to act like you're fully groggily?

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Um, no, I don't.

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I think, I think, because as soon as he touches my eye, I'm going to be like, don't freak out.

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I'm not going to hurt you.

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But I think I know what you're looking for.

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And it's this thing attached to my shoulder.

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He was created by...

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He was created by the yellow humvee people.

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We are trying to escape them.

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We have a lot of wounded and we could use your help.

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Why would you bring that in here?

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The head?

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He's already fulfilled his purpose.

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He no longer is under their control.

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He blew himself up and...

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How are you sure that that's how this works?

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And you see he does, he pulls out a hypodermic needle that he's holding in his hand.

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Because we have tested his impulses.

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And when we scan the rest of your little party here, we're not going to find anything we aren't expecting?

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Full cards on the table.

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I actually, I'm, no, I don't think so.

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I don't know everybody here super well.

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I know that that's my friend Ocean, and he's not one of them, and I'm not one of them.

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I actually have another one of their doppelgangers, but it's dead and it was never alive.

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If you want to study it, I can trade that to you in exchange for your help.

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Okay, how about we move on to scan you?

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Go for it.

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I won't move.

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Puts you down here, removes Vesuvius from your shoulder, puts him on the table that previously had Ocean on it, and this cool X-ray machine that's definitely futuristic and doesn't require people who have advanced radiology knowledge to figure out how to read them, scans over you, and the screen pops up, and your bones look normal.

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A reveal we've been waiting on.

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Little tension there.

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You can't see this, but I was staring very hard at Stu out of the corner of my eye because I was nervous about that.

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Your cane sword is more obviously a cane sword in this image, and he takes that from you.

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He unhooks it from you and picks it up.

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Come on, man.

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You'll get it back when you leave.

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That was my mom's.

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Not a problem.

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You did hear me that they're on their way.

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We didn't mean to lead them here.

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We didn't know that they were following us, but I sniffed the wind, and they are approaching.

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Yeah, I think you still have some of...

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Is it sniffed?

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Is past tense of sniffed?

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I think you may have some of the effects of the ketamine still in you, so we're going to move on from that.

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We're going to scan the rest of your friends.

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I hope you don't mind that we may need to handcuff you for the time being.

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Yes.

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No, I'll be handcuffed.

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Okay, that's great.

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You won't knock me out.

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As long as you remain calm, you'll be fine.

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What did you say your name was?

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I'm Red.

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That one's Ocean, and you're Red?

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What's the thing you had on your shoulder?

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That's Vesuvius, but we call him Everest because you...

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Well, we can just call him Vesuvius now because you killed the real one.

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He was going to shoot my man.

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He had a gun out.

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You could have said something, man.

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Well, we're going to put you in a nice room, and we'll let you know when Ocean wakes up.

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Can you put him in with me?

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Yeah, yeah, sure.

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I feel better about that.

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He has a little cart next to him that has handcuffs in it for some reason.

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You see a bunch of medical equipment, and then also handcuffs in one of the drawers, and he puts them on you.

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He goes over to Ocean and zip ties his hands together, and then leads you and wheels Ocean to a...

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it looks like just an exam room, and you hear the door lock behind you.

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A little bit later, Ocean, you wake up, very groggy.

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You actually feel great.

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Let me have...

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Let's say you healed too.

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Oh, shit, nice.

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Still unstable.

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Still unstable, but healed.

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You still have not got real medical attention.

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Hey, but you guys are an awesome...

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That's about it.

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I healed you.

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Ocean groggily just like leans forward and is like, oh, what happened?

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Book?

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Book!

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And he's gonna panically look around.

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Am I there?

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Am I within arm's reach?

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Alright, I'm gonna pat his little head, his big head.

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I'm here, buddy.

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I'm here.

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What happened?

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Where's Crandle?

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Where's Vesuvius?

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Where's other Vesuvius?

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They killed real Vesuvius.

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He pulled the gun, and they just shot him.

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That idiot.

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I thought we were trying to approach friendly.

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What happened?

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Why'd they shoot at us?

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I tried to stop him, but I guess like his fake Vesuvius counterpart, he has a very strong resistance to drugs.

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I don't know where fake Vesuvius is.

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They took him off of me.

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I told them that he's not a threat, but I don't know if they believed me.

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They know about the doppelgangers.

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Did you talk to them?

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Briefly.

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Where'd they take us?

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What happened after I went out?

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We're in the hospital.

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I think they're going to help us.

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I offered to give them my doppelganger corpse to study in exchange for their help instead of the car.

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Well, I guess it's a good thing we kept that thing, then.

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Yeah, I literally told everyone.

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I'm sorry, I'm getting upset.

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Yeah, I think it was.

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The door opens and someone comes in and they go, hey, I noticed an elevated heart rate in here.

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You guys OK?

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It's a different person.

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I know it's the same voice.

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They talk creepily similar.

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Yes, we're fine.

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Can we...

Speaker:

How long have we been in here?

Speaker:

They weren't far behind us.

Speaker:

Oh, you've just been here a couple hours now.

Speaker:

Hours?

Speaker:

Don't worry, it's very safe here.

Speaker:

We have a very good perimeter set up.

Speaker:

We would see anyone long before they...

Speaker:

No, you don't understand.

Speaker:

There was more in our party.

Speaker:

They could have been massacred.

Speaker:

I almost said masturbated.

Speaker:

They could have been massacred in that time.

Speaker:

It seems like the ketamine is still a little bit in you.

Speaker:

No, can you please...

Speaker:

I didn't have any fucking ketamine.

Speaker:

Please, just...

Speaker:

You haven't...

Speaker:

I'd like to describe the location of our friends.

Speaker:

Okay, yeah, we can send out a little search party for them.

Speaker:

Get them back.

Speaker:

Are they friendly?

Speaker:

Yes, if you tell them that you are with us, and that we are going to be safe, right?

Speaker:

Yes, this is the safest place.

Speaker:

I would like to...

Speaker:

Are they telling the truth?

Speaker:

Give me...

Speaker:

Read a person roll.

Speaker:

That was a seven.

Speaker:

They believe this is the safest place for them.

Speaker:

That's not very helpful.

Speaker:

Kind of.

Speaker:

Guess we know they're not intentionally trying to mislead us.

Speaker:

I hold two against them, so is that my one?

Speaker:

Yep, that's one.

Speaker:

I would like to know what they are thinking of doing.

Speaker:

They definitely want to keep you here for observation.

Speaker:

This person at least does not trust you at all.

Speaker:

But they say, Hey, would you guys like some food?

Speaker:

You guys look like you've really taken a beating out there.

Speaker:

Your jacket is fucked up in at least three different ways, I notice.

Speaker:

It's my favorite jacket.

Speaker:

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

Speaker:

Thanks.

Speaker:

Ocean Groggeley stands up.

Speaker:

We came here for medical supplies.

Speaker:

We were told that you guys had resources we could use.

Speaker:

Our home is running low.

Speaker:

We could trade.

Speaker:

We're not trying to take it.

Speaker:

No, we're not trying to take.

Speaker:

We are open for trade.

Speaker:

Yeah, if your whole party is cleared, I don't know if you guys are aware, but there are these things moving around that seem to have some inorganic material in them.

Speaker:

We got infiltrated a few weeks ago, and it was bad.

Speaker:

Someone you knew?

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

With a different voice?

Speaker:

Yeah, it was a little bit different.

Speaker:

Not very much, though.

Speaker:

They phrased things a little strangely.

Speaker:

It's worse than I thought.

Speaker:

Sounds like what happened to us.

Speaker:

We got blown up by one of those.

Speaker:

But he was really nice afterwards.

Speaker:

Where have you taken the rest of our people we were robbed?

Speaker:

We had another one with us, Crandall.

Speaker:

Oh, yes, Crandall's in the exam room to the side of you.

Speaker:

He has not yet woken up.

Speaker:

He is out like a baby.

Speaker:

He's pretty cute when he sleeps.

Speaker:

That sounds like him.

Speaker:

He's small, so I'm guessing that the dose he got was a little more effective.

Speaker:

He is swaddled, and when he snores, his wispy mustache flows in the wind.

Speaker:

Horrific.

Speaker:

Like a cockroach's whiskers?

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

I don't mean to be blunt here, but who are you people?

Speaker:

Oh, we've been at the hospital for a while now.

Speaker:

We've created a little nice little safe grove.

Speaker:

We call this the Gardens.

Speaker:

It was part of the name of this hospital complex back before it was inhabited.

Speaker:

We've all come from different areas, though, but this is a very safe place.

Speaker:

We're very selective in who can stay here.

Speaker:

A party like yours would not be welcome for long-term residency, but we provide assistance when it's needed, and we are certainly open to trade.

Speaker:

Well, as long as our friends and the people we're with get the treatment they need, we'll be willing to trade with you for some supplies, and we won't stay long.

Speaker:

We'll be out of your hair shortly.

Speaker:

Yeah, we'll call a meeting with Moreland.

Speaker:

He's the one that talked to, I believe...

Speaker:

Was your name Red here?

Speaker:

Yes, that's my name.

Speaker:

He was the one who was talking to you, and he'll be the main point of contact for any negotiations you have, but I will let you know as soon as the rest of your party has woken up.

Speaker:

What about the team?

Speaker:

Yeah, we'll send them out.

Speaker:

Can you get the rest?

Speaker:

Yeah, no problem.

Speaker:

They will have to be scanned, but yes.

Speaker:

Yeah, scan all of us.

Speaker:

But I don't...

Speaker:

They've been out there for hours now, so I don't...

Speaker:

Just don't hold it against us if they're all fucking doppelgangers now, because...

Speaker:

We'll be able to find out if they are.

Speaker:

And he walks out the door, and you hear it lock.

Speaker:

Well, for being such courteous guests, they sure do seem keen to keep us locked up here.

Speaker:

I don't trust this.

Speaker:

Something's off.

Speaker:

I don't know.

Speaker:

Would we have treated them any different?

Speaker:

I guess that's fair.

Speaker:

We were pretty suspicious with Vesuvius when we first met him.

Speaker:

And rightfully so.

Speaker:

I guess for good reason, yeah.

Speaker:

What all is in this cell work being kept in?

Speaker:

It looks just like an exam room.

Speaker:

They pull you in with a stretcher, and there's an exam bed against the other wall that Book's been just kind of sitting on.

Speaker:

There's some equipment in here.

Speaker:

It looks much more advanced than the haphazardly constructed medical bay that you rescued Book from in the bottom of that tower.

Speaker:

To use non-apocalypse terms, that looked very like present-day sort of technology like you had in shit wheeling.

Speaker:

This person somehow knew there was an elevated heart rate in here, even though Book is not wearing any little thingy boy.

Speaker:

Ocean looks around.

Speaker:

Does he see any kind of monitoring devices that he can identify?

Speaker:

There is a dome in the very center of the ceiling that is frosted over so you can't see what it looks like inside of it.

Speaker:

And you do see on the walls behind you, there are like flat screens that have vitals on them that you're pretty able to figure out are probably your two vitals.

Speaker:

What's my blood pressure at?

Speaker:

140 over 73.

Speaker:

The door opens, and the same person you talked to before wheels in some food, and it looks like nothing you have ever seen before.

Speaker:

It is fresh vegetables.

Speaker:

Fresh?

Speaker:

Fresh vegetables.

Speaker:

But Ocean picks up a piece of spinach and shakes it and is like, what the hell is this?

Speaker:

Oh, they're very good for you.

Speaker:

Definitely eat up.

Speaker:

I would like to smell it for potential contaminants.

Speaker:

Yeah, Ocean sniffs it and you like licks it and is like, oh, it's so bland.

Speaker:

Where's the salt?

Speaker:

Oh, you don't.

Speaker:

It could be poison.

Speaker:

Yeah, there are no preservatives.

Speaker:

It smells like poison.

Speaker:

There are no preservatives in that.

Speaker:

We've learned how to grow crops in the hospital here.

Speaker:

It's actually remarkable, and we feel better than ever.

Speaker:

I have a book on hydroponics.

Speaker:

Is that what you guys are doing?

Speaker:

You're doing some hydroponics up in this pitch?

Speaker:

Impressive.

Speaker:

I tried to do it once, but I had no light and no water, so it didn't really work so great.

Speaker:

With your knowledge of that, you think back to Moreland, how he looked.

Speaker:

He actually looked like he had a little bit of a tan, which you've certainly never seen before.

Speaker:

You've seen people with varying pigments, but it looked like he...

Speaker:

Interesting.

Speaker:

It's a little rosy.

Speaker:

Right, interesting.

Speaker:

Wow.

Speaker:

I would like to take a big bite of a carrot.

Speaker:

It's very tasty.

Speaker:

It crunches in your mouth.

Speaker:

It's not like the soggy ones that you've had before.

Speaker:

Okay, as soon as it tastes good, I think Book is going to wolf exactly half of the food.

Speaker:

Ocean is going to eat the spinach and he's going to smack on it.

Speaker:

I don't taste the artificial shrimp flavor.

Speaker:

There's...

Speaker:

It just tastes like nothing.

Speaker:

Is there any zucchini?

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

You know, Ocean, back in the before, before, before times, they used to make fake spaghetti out of this shit.

Speaker:

So that would have gone in your cup of noodles nice.

Speaker:

So strange.

Speaker:

And I would like to take a bite out of...

Speaker:

Is it a whole zucchini or is it sliced?

Speaker:

No, it's actually sliced and fried.

Speaker:

Yeah, cooked.

Speaker:

It's not deep fried, like fried on a skillet.

Speaker:

This is making me hungry.

Speaker:

Yes, please.

Speaker:

It tastes better than anything you've ever eaten, and you do feel rejuvenated.

Speaker:

Yeah, when Ocean sees Book eating, he's going to start eating, and he's going to sit there and he's like, it's so strange.

Speaker:

It's not in cup form.

Speaker:

It's not.

Speaker:

There's no liquid, the broth to drink.

Speaker:

I'm not a fan of this new food, Book.

Speaker:

It seems odd.

Speaker:

Ocean, you hated Cup of Noodles.

Speaker:

Yes, but now that I've been giving alternatives, I don't know what to do with it.

Speaker:

You hear a very polite knock on your door, and Moreland opens it, and you hear him go, Ah, I see.

Speaker:

He looks super proud and smug.

Speaker:

He's like, See, you're enjoying the food.

Speaker:

We have quite a little process going on here.

Speaker:

I'd love to show you guys later.

Speaker:

Everyone passed the scans except your friend Vesuvius slash Everest, who was obviously ahead.

Speaker:

So that wasn't too big of a surprise.

Speaker:

You haven't heard him, have you?

Speaker:

No, not yet.

Speaker:

Listen, if you can put him somewhere safe, if you can put him somewhere safe, we'll take him with us when we leave.

Speaker:

He won't cause us any trouble.

Speaker:

That can be a part of our discussion.

Speaker:

I promise we won't dispose of him until we've come to an agreement.

Speaker:

Have you found the rest of our party?

Speaker:

Not yet.

Speaker:

I heard we should send a little force out to be able to track them down.

Speaker:

I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything on the radio.

Speaker:

Do you want one of us to go with them?

Speaker:

I don't think you guys should leave right now.

Speaker:

You both look like you need some severe medical attention.

Speaker:

I just want to make sure that nobody else gets killed.

Speaker:

Yeah, but don't worry about that.

Speaker:

We have a very strong perimeter set up here, and it'll be fine.

Speaker:

No, no, no.

Speaker:

I mean, I don't want any of our people to get killed by your people.

Speaker:

We've just been through a hellacious battle with the Yellow Humvee fucks.

Speaker:

We call them silent.

Speaker:

And we don't need to take any more losses.

Speaker:

God damn it.

Speaker:

We don't need any more losses, whether from them or you.

Speaker:

Not to mention, I heard you shot one of them.

Speaker:

Yeah, our apologies for that.

Speaker:

He seemed panicky and dangerous, and I cannot risk losing any of my men here.

Speaker:

You shot me with a dart?

Speaker:

It took me out almost instantly.

Speaker:

Why'd you have to shoot him?

Speaker:

Couldn't you just use a dart?

Speaker:

Yeah, well, we would have.

Speaker:

Those things take a while to reload.

Speaker:

We only have three tranquilizer guns.

Speaker:

He seems to be telling the truth.

Speaker:

Yeah, Book is grinding his teeth because he knows that, like, they didn't really do anything wrong, but they kind of did.

Speaker:

So, listen, I just...

Speaker:

Can you at least take a radio so that they can hear our voices?

Speaker:

Yes, yeah, our men have radios.

Speaker:

So, yeah, that would be a good offer.

Speaker:

So when they find them, you want them to radio, and you guys can kind of talk through me, and he holds up his little walkie talkie.

Speaker:

Yeah, sure thing.

Speaker:

And he picks it up and he beeps in, and he goes, Hey, guys, when you find the rest of the scouting party that made it to the garden, just let them know that they can talk to their friends safely on the walkie talkie, and you can go ahead and hand it over to them.

Speaker:

And you hear, Roger.

Speaker:

Dude also has...

Speaker:

The Roger sounds very similar to this guy's voice, too.

Speaker:

Can we can we speak with Crandall?

Speaker:

Oh, yeah, I don't think that should be a problem.

Speaker:

I think he's having some lasting effects from the ketamine.

Speaker:

He's very, very strange.

Speaker:

Can we scan you?

Speaker:

Oh, I'm fine.

Speaker:

Would you like to see?

Speaker:

He walks up to the screen and he taps away on it like super quick, and you see his little smiling picture comes up in the corner, and it has all of his stats like height, weight, last blood pressure reading, and he swipes a few pages and it shows an x-ray of a skeleton.

Speaker:

How do I know that's you or that's...

Speaker:

How do I know that's even you or that's Reese?

Speaker:

This is all based on the DNA of the person in the room, so there's no way that could be faked.

Speaker:

You'd have to...

Speaker:

Show me the timestamp.

Speaker:

Oh, shit.

Speaker:

He scrolls through and there's a timestamp on it from two weeks ago.

Speaker:

Can you just humor me?

Speaker:

Absolutely not.

Speaker:

Well, that makes me trust you less.

Speaker:

You don't have to trust me.

Speaker:

I can stabilize you if you would like.

Speaker:

I would trade with you if you would like.

Speaker:

How about we scan one of your other people?

Speaker:

Why?

Speaker:

You have no power here.

Speaker:

I don't know why you're demanding scans from people.

Speaker:

I just, I am taking the same precaution that you did.

Speaker:

Ocean puts...

Speaker:

The same exact precaution that you did.

Speaker:

Ocean puts his hand on Book and is like, Look, I think we should hold off on this kind of stuff until we get into the negotiations.

Speaker:

Until then, I think we should probably try and stay on their best side as possible.

Speaker:

I just feel like they should probably commiserate with the fact that we were literally blown up by one of those things and that maybe we want to make sure we haven't just walked into a giant trap.

Speaker:

But yeah, let's go along with it.

Speaker:

Excellent.

Speaker:

Here, try one of these.

Speaker:

And he tosses both of you an apple.

Speaker:

I eat the apple.

Speaker:

I'm not going to not eat the apple.

Speaker:

So juicy.

Speaker:

But I eat it like angry.

Speaker:

I fucking chomp, dude.

Speaker:

I fucking chomp through that apple.

Speaker:

Like a horse.

Speaker:

You eat it like stem.

Speaker:

Brad Pitt in Ocean's Eleven.

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

A few minutes later, Crandall comes knocking on your door.

Speaker:

He doesn't tell you anything new, really.

Speaker:

Same sort of stuff.

Speaker:

And he does not seem to be...

Speaker:

I do give him a big hug.

Speaker:

He hugs you back.

Speaker:

He does not seem to be under the effects of ketamine.

Speaker:

It just...

Speaker:

He's his normal self.

Speaker:

That's what I was suspecting.

Speaker:

Oh, and I say to both of them, well, Crandall already knows me as Red, but I just whisper to Ocean, like, make sure you call me Red.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

No shit.

Speaker:

We've got a group looking for the pen, and I gave them all...

Speaker:

They told us they would let him use a walkie-talkie to hear from him, so I think when they find him, it would be pretty encouraging to avoid a situation like a curve when we try to come in, if you could just tell them.

Speaker:

Have you guys tried these oranges yet?

Speaker:

I put my hand on Crandall's shoulder, and I go, oh god, someone...

Speaker:

Maybe they didn't tell you yet.

Speaker:

They killed Vesuvius.

Speaker:

Well, that's pretty unfortunate.

Speaker:

And he bites into a fully peeled orange.

Speaker:

And when I say peeled, I don't mean the verb peeled.

Speaker:

I mean there's still a peel on it.

Speaker:

Unpeeled orange.

Speaker:

Oh my god.

Speaker:

That's cursed.

Speaker:

This is delicious.

Speaker:

Yeah, that's unfortunate.

Speaker:

This place is pretty neat.

Speaker:

Have you walked around yet?

Speaker:

I look at Ocean, and I just shake my head.

Speaker:

No, they haven't let us out of this room.

Speaker:

We've been trapped.

Speaker:

Oh, you can come.

Speaker:

Here, follow me.

Speaker:

Oh, OK.

Speaker:

I start following Crandall.

Speaker:

Was the door locked?

Speaker:

Where is he taking us?

Speaker:

There was no one else behind, and there's no people with him.

Speaker:

He just knocked on the door and came in.

Speaker:

Oh, shit.

Speaker:

I look over the book and be like, I guess the door wasn't locked.

Speaker:

It definitely was.

Speaker:

We saw them lock it.

Speaker:

Everybody's trying to fucking play games here.

Speaker:

What the fuck is going on?

Speaker:

Everybody's letting the shit out of us.

Speaker:

I grab Ocean's collar.

Speaker:

Are you the real Ocean?

Speaker:

I assume so.

Speaker:

Yeah, no, I pretty much saw you that whole time.

Speaker:

I don't know why I'm asking you that.

Speaker:

What to say?

Speaker:

I've been out this whole time.

Speaker:

Who knows?

Speaker:

Maybe they booked me, you know?

Speaker:

You know, like, killed me and then brought back my dead body or something.

Speaker:

Okay, that's rude, frankly.

Speaker:

No, no, I don't feel any different.

Speaker:

I feel better than ever, actually.

Speaker:

No, I watched you the whole time, I promise.

Speaker:

I'm sorry.

Speaker:

I'm just nervous.

Speaker:

No, I feel you.

Speaker:

Something's off.

Speaker:

Something seems weird about this place.

Speaker:

It's so great here.

Speaker:

But they killed Vesuvius.

Speaker:

And Crandall doesn't care.

Speaker:

Well, do you see how he reacted when we told him we could bury them in?

Speaker:

That doesn't surprise me that he doesn't care.

Speaker:

I wasn't surprised.

Speaker:

It just made me sad because he just is a really good guy.

Speaker:

I thought Crandall would appreciate him as much as we did.

Speaker:

Ocean puts his hand on Book's shoulder and is like, look, when we get out of here, we'll give the Suvias a proper burial.

Speaker:

We'll send them off the best way we know how.

Speaker:

You're damn right we will.

Speaker:

We'll give them some jerky for the road to heaven.

Speaker:

He sniffs and wipes a single tear away and starts walking with Crandall.

Speaker:

Oh my god.

Speaker:

Book pretends to eat more shit, but he's crying.

Speaker:

As you guys walk out with Crandall, Morlin just like pokes his head around a corner.

Speaker:

He's like, oh, would you guys like to have the tour of the place?

Speaker:

No, I'd like to know what your people found.

Speaker:

They still have not found anyone.

Speaker:

They found your vehicles.

Speaker:

So there was nobody with the vehicles?

Speaker:

No, no one with the vehicles.

Speaker:

Any signs of struggle?

Speaker:

No, no gunshots.

Speaker:

There was a bunch of blood on the ground.

Speaker:

Yeah, that's no, that would be a sign of struggle.

Speaker:

Well, no, I think, look, I think there are red.

Speaker:

I think that blood might have been from the dissection.

Speaker:

How much blood?

Speaker:

Like half a person's worth.

Speaker:

Okay, that was a corpse.

Speaker:

The blood would coagulate.

Speaker:

You said it was like a good amount.

Speaker:

What are you guys talking about?

Speaker:

Could you please elaborate?

Speaker:

There's a corpse.

Speaker:

We did a bit of a dissection, okay?

Speaker:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker:

On one of the bodies of the yellow hungry people.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Speaker:

Okay, yeah, that checks out.

Speaker:

That's good.

Speaker:

Oh my God.

Speaker:

Just so that we're aware, where would the non-organic items be found on such an individual?

Speaker:

Well, we found it right about here, and he walks up to you, and he kind of like puts his hands around the front of your neck, and his fingers are like very soft, but his grip is very strong, and he kind of like moves your whole shoulders back and points hardly into the back of your brain stem.

Speaker:

And he goes, right about there is where we found it.

Speaker:

And that's where I'd cut on the body?

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

All right, that's what we thought too.

Speaker:

Thanks for the demonstration, and I grab his wrist, and I'd like to move his hand away from my neck.

Speaker:

He puts both his hands up and takes a few steps back.

Speaker:

He goes, yeah, well, so you would just like to wait here.

Speaker:

You really do seem like you need some more severe medical attention, so would you accept that?

Speaker:

We will take that off of whatever negotiations we have later.

Speaker:

How about we talk about that first, and then we'll get to the medical supplies.

Speaker:

So let's negotiate for our treatment first, and then we'll talk about the rest.

Speaker:

Okay, yeah, no, that's fine.

Speaker:

Crandle seemed pretty okay.

Speaker:

I don't think it would cost much.

Speaker:

We do have a, like, per night price, but we'll waive Crandle's.

Speaker:

But you guys look like you need to have some pretty severe treatment, and I think this burn on you is almost certainly going to get infected.

Speaker:

It may already be, and he looks over at Ocean, and he's like, yeah, you have two gunshot wounds that are under some duct tape.

Speaker:

Yeah, this definitely will need some sutures.

Speaker:

And a spider leg slash.

Speaker:

Oh, yeah, look at this.

Speaker:

And he looks down at your leg, and you have just dried caked blood, like, all the way down the front of your shin.

Speaker:

And a macerated back.

Speaker:

And you have some contusions definitely around here.

Speaker:

Yeah, I think there's some pretty severe work here, but we certainly have the equipment to get you guys stable.

Speaker:

Would you take my doppelganger's body in exchange for our treatment?

Speaker:

Uh, what would you like us to do with that?

Speaker:

Like, for parts?

Speaker:

Organs, maybe?

Speaker:

Hmm, that's actually not a bad idea.

Speaker:

They seem to decompose much slower.

Speaker:

For whatever you want, but I figure if you're as interested in we are as keeping those things away from you, having one to study wouldn't be a bad thing.

Speaker:

One that's intact.

Speaker:

Mostly.

Speaker:

Give me a barter roll.

Speaker:

Ooh, son of a bitch.

Speaker:

Okay, that wasn't bad, that was an eight.

Speaker:

I think that could certainly be arranged.

Speaker:

I think for the full care of you guys and Will, is Crandall going to stay with you guys while you get your treatment?

Speaker:

I think it'll probably be two or three days before we would clear you to leave.

Speaker:

Would you consider absorbing Crandall into your team?

Speaker:

That seems very risky.

Speaker:

We'll see once his ketamine wears off.

Speaker:

Is he?

Speaker:

Oh, no, he's just like that.

Speaker:

Oh, then no.

Speaker:

Sorry.

Speaker:

When you find the people we were with, will that body cover their expenses, too, to get them stabilized?

Speaker:

Because we had a lot of casualties.

Speaker:

Give me a Sway some one-roll.

Speaker:

Oh, that's a ten.

Speaker:

Yeah, I like you guys.

Speaker:

You guys were both pretty upfront with me.

Speaker:

I think that's fair.

Speaker:

How many people did you say it was who were going to need severe medical treatment?

Speaker:

It was six, right?

Speaker:

Six?

Speaker:

Yeah, I think not including Crandall.

Speaker:

How bad a shape are they in?

Speaker:

Some are really, there's two that were really hit pretty hard, but the rest of them were pretty okay.

Speaker:

Okay, yeah, we should be able to work that out.

Speaker:

Can you have your men bring our vehicles and goods back?

Speaker:

Yeah, we can get them to bring both of those.

Speaker:

They better not fuck up my jeeper more than it already is.

Speaker:

Yeah, that's fair enough.

Speaker:

Okay, I would like to submit myself for treatment.

Speaker:

Okay, you guys both want to get treated here?

Speaker:

You're cool staying here a couple days?

Speaker:

A couple days?

Speaker:

Yes, I said that several times.

Speaker:

I don't listen.

Speaker:

I don't think I can make it back to Hamlet opening in my current state.

Speaker:

I'm unstable.

Speaker:

I have two pie slices of approximations of living left.

Speaker:

Oh, you've had pie?

Speaker:

We have a cobbler.

Speaker:

Oh, I don't think I've ever actually had either of those things before.

Speaker:

So you guys are gonna be here a couple days.

Speaker:

I'll walk through those days in descriptive form.

Speaker:

So they don't find the people?

Speaker:

They do not find the people in the first day, the whole first 24 hours.

Speaker:

You guys sleep a lot, not moving around too much.

Speaker:

They do give you like some painkillers, but every time you wake up, I'm assuming you're asking for updates, and they say they do not find anyone.

Speaker:

By the beginning of the second day, you're able to get good little tour around.

Speaker:

They want you on your feet some, especially with some of your leg injuries testing out the strength of it.

Speaker:

So they walk you around a little bit, and the only surprising things, they already figured out kind of the main one, which is they do have hydroponics here that are very advanced.

Speaker:

You can see they have a huge assortment.

Speaker:

I described when he came in that this was kind of a whole medical complex with like these sky bridges leading to some other areas.

Speaker:

Most of those were broken down, but some of the sky bridges are just filled on the side with this trough of water.

Speaker:

They explain the process a little bit to you, where they have a lot of nutrients available through some of the medical supplies they found in this hospital.

Speaker:

It was surprisingly not rated when the, when Moreland first came here.

Speaker:

He tells you he's been here for about seven years now, and he started getting this up and running.

Speaker:

And he shows you this room that has a bunch of UV treatment lights that they also use on the plants.

Speaker:

And he says that this is, provides very necessary vitamins that people are severely lacking in this wonderful underground apocalypse.

Speaker:

And he lets you guys sit in, it's basically a tanning bed, for on the second day.

Speaker:

And you actually do feel like great after it.

Speaker:

That is actually a real thing that you use on babies, actually.

Speaker:

Nice.

Speaker:

So maybe it's too small for you.

Speaker:

Especially babies with jaundice, right?

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker:

I'm sure there's something similar for adults, but...

Speaker:

But yeah, you feel like great after it.

Speaker:

Like the amount of energy you have is like skyrocketing.

Speaker:

You probably feel better than you have in a long time, even though you have these pretty severe injuries.

Speaker:

But by the end of the second day, they still have not found your people, and they've gotten your vehicles back.

Speaker:

They ended up actually towing.

Speaker:

They have a flatbed truck that they towed the H2 on to bring it back.

Speaker:

And they also say they've seen no sign of the silent.

Speaker:

Where could they have gone?

Speaker:

Do we heal our harm, by the way?

Speaker:

With the payments you've made, you guys are fully stable and fully healed.

Speaker:

Yeah, boy.

Speaker:

Give me a Rita Citroll.

Speaker:

I think they took our people.

Speaker:

That's a pretty damn good roll.

Speaker:

Okay, that's a ten.

Speaker:

Three questions.

Speaker:

I'm kind of tempted to say who's in control here.

Speaker:

Because we suspect it's Mer-mer-mer-mer.

Speaker:

Moreland.

Speaker:

Yeah, Merland.

Speaker:

The Great Wizard.

Speaker:

But I don't know, something seems strange about this place.

Speaker:

Okay, so for the three choices, I'm going to go with who's in control here.

Speaker:

What represents the best opportunity for us to explore the place without being supervised?

Speaker:

And what should I be on the lookout for?

Speaker:

For who's in control here, you are correct that it is Moreland, certainly.

Speaker:

But you do notice there's like a strange admiration for him from everyone else you talk to.

Speaker:

Like, he is more often than not the topic of conversation.

Speaker:

And it's nothing particularly fascinating.

Speaker:

It's all just things you pretty much already know about him, but they always say it in like a very impressed way.

Speaker:

Like, he figured out all this stuff.

Speaker:

He had all the ideas for all these different vegetables to use.

Speaker:

I don't even know where he got all the seeds, stuff like that.

Speaker:

For what you should be on the lookout for, you think it's strange that this place is cranking out a shit ton of AC, has a billion lights in it.

Speaker:

It's like it does not have any of the other power problems that you've seen throughout Subtropolis or certainly in Hamlet opening.

Speaker:

It's looking good.

Speaker:

Okay, for the best way to explore this place without being supervised, you see it is very organized here.

Speaker:

They have like all the sort of shift charts you would expect in very visible locations, and you see it is very evolving based on basically your guys' medical needs.

Speaker:

No one else has arrived here in the last two days.

Speaker:

So as you guys have gotten better, there have just been shifts that have basically cleared up.

Speaker:

So you see right now over the nighttime period, there is almost no one working.

Speaker:

You do know there is a lot of monitoring just happening anyway, like they know your vitals and shit while you're in the room.

Speaker:

So you would probably need an excuse to not be in your room, but you definitely know like the best times where there would be fewer people around.

Speaker:

Ocean, do you think they would let us go inventory our stuff and make sure it's all there?

Speaker:

I wink.

Speaker:

I think that would be a good thing to ask.

Speaker:

Also, do you think Morelin is his first name?

Speaker:

That doesn't sound like a first name to me.

Speaker:

First names are stuff like Beach, and Angle, and Razor, and Fan.

Speaker:

Not Morelin.

Speaker:

And Crandall.

Speaker:

Book starts to walk away as he starts listing the things that First Name should read.

Speaker:

You notice all of those things are in this room somewhere.

Speaker:

There's just a beach.

Speaker:

It's a painting of a beach.

Speaker:

Okay, I would like to...

Speaker:

Is there someone nearby that we can talk to?

Speaker:

Yes, almost always.

Speaker:

I would like to...

Speaker:

Hey, do you think we could take a look at our vehicles, take stock of our stuff, and make sure it's all there?

Speaker:

That might have some clues as to what happened to our compatriots.

Speaker:

Yeah, first you have to answer me one question.

Speaker:

How are you feeling today?

Speaker:

And they turn around a chart and has a bunch of smiley faces on it.

Speaker:

I'm fucking three or four.

Speaker:

I just don't want them to think that I'm fine.

Speaker:

She goes, yeah, that's great.

Speaker:

Are you about the same, Ocean?

Speaker:

Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Speaker:

Okay, excellent.

Speaker:

Yeah, sure, no problem.

Speaker:

And then we walk out of the room.

Speaker:

Hopefully, is it locked?

Speaker:

Nope, it's not locked.

Speaker:

Are we alone in a hallway?

Speaker:

Yes.

Speaker:

I turn to Ocean.

Speaker:

Okay, I think one of us actually probably should go look at our stuff, but I think our cars are most likely down because I doubt they have a car elevator.

Speaker:

I wouldn't mind actually going to look at our car.

Speaker:

I had a lot of theory.

Speaker:

I wanted to be able to get the radios, and I wanted to mess around.

Speaker:

If they ran off, they should have...

Speaker:

We had two radios, so I'm sure they took one of them.

Speaker:

I want to see if we can get the second...

Speaker:

If we go down there, if they have a radio there, if we can maybe try to contact them.

Speaker:

That's a good idea.

Speaker:

And while you're on your way, can you take the stairs and maybe, I don't know, poke around?

Speaker:

And then I'm going to go up and see what I can find.

Speaker:

Yeah, I can poke around a little bit as I'm going down.

Speaker:

Maybe get the radios first and then poke around on your way back up?

Speaker:

Yeah, that's actually a better idea, because then I can act like I'm trying to figure out where my room is.

Speaker:

Speaking of, where's Crandall?

Speaker:

I'll look around.

Speaker:

Is Crandall anywhere near?

Speaker:

I forgot he existed for the last two days.

Speaker:

Where's Crandall been these last two days?

Speaker:

Only in the tanning beds.

Speaker:

Oh, Lord.

Speaker:

That's the best possible answer that you could have given.

Speaker:

Okay, well, Book, you should probably also go check on Crandall, make sure he hasn't given himself...

Speaker:

Absolutely not.

Speaker:

He hates me.

Speaker:

Whatever that burn that seems to be caused by too much light is, it seems like our skin just doesn't like it when too much of it hits.

Speaker:

So just make sure he doesn't have any...

Speaker:

Light burn?

Speaker:

That's a good name.

Speaker:

See if he doesn't have any of that, and then you snoop around.

Speaker:

Ocean, give me an act under fire as you're slooping around.

Speaker:

Yes, he is slooping around.

Speaker:

Does he get the radios?

Speaker:

He's on his way there.

Speaker:

I'm going to look around a little bit while I'm heading down there, and then on the way back up, I'm going to do some more snooping.

Speaker:

Act under fire?

Speaker:

Yep.

Speaker:

That is an 8.

Speaker:

So you make it to your car as you go down the stairs.

Speaker:

You do the only odd thing you see on the way.

Speaker:

A lot of the floors do have swipe badges that they look like they're probably locked.

Speaker:

If you want to test the doors, you can.

Speaker:

If not, you can just kind of notice which ones are locked.

Speaker:

You notice you get down to the bottom floor, but the stairs go down further, and when you look down, it seems to go down a lot further.

Speaker:

Do I notice any kind of odd noises coming from down the stairs?

Speaker:

Let's say there's a humming, but it's echoing up there, which is wild for a hum to do.

Speaker:

It's usually any like sharp sounds.

Speaker:

Yeah, that's a loud ass fucking hum.

Speaker:

Ocean's going to take note of that, and he is going to...

Speaker:

So he's on the first floor right now, right?

Speaker:

The ground floor.

Speaker:

So there's a big G.

Speaker:

Okay, he's going to keep going down.

Speaker:

He's going to ignore the door to the actual outside, and he's going to kind of feels just drawn to the hum, and just keeps going down the stairs.

Speaker:

You go down one floor, and it looks to be a storage floor.

Speaker:

It says B1 on it, and you look through the little window on the thing, and it's pretty dark in there, but you see rows of stuff, and the door is locked.

Speaker:

You go down another floor, and it has a big M on it, if that's what hospitals say for morgue.

Speaker:

Usually something somewhere.

Speaker:

There's usually not an entire floor dedicated to a morgue.

Speaker:

Well, this one does.

Speaker:

That's scary.

Speaker:

For a morgue.

Speaker:

But there are still stairs going down, and when you go down further, there's not doors for a little bit, and the hum keeps getting louder and louder.

Speaker:

You go down more and more floors, and it seems to be getting warmer and warmer as you go down here.

Speaker:

And it actually ends up getting pretty hot by the time you reach a landing, and you see there is the first door that doesn't have a window on it.

Speaker:

It's this thick metal door in front of you.

Speaker:

Ocean tries the door.

Speaker:

It is not locked, but it is heavy as shit.

Speaker:

He's going to pull it open.

Speaker:

You slide it open, and you see a familiar from one of your visions, green, glowing light down here.

Speaker:

And you're hit with this, like, wave of heat, and there's, like, steam blowing out from one of the areas.

Speaker:

Oh, shit.

Speaker:

Almost as if, like, a moth, with seeing something from one of his visions, Ocean is just going to instinctively keep...

Speaker:

He's going to walk into the room and walk up to the source of the light.

Speaker:

You walk up, and you see this massive reactor with some sort of nuclear material, and it just emitting this huge glow, and all sorts of, like, meters and, like, beeps are happening all around you, and you see those massive doors behind you that you saw in your vision.

Speaker:

How similar is where I am right now that is to my...

Speaker:

Very except in your vision, you, like, were rappelling down and landed, right?

Speaker:

You were just like, ooh, and everything, and there were a bunch of mercenaries around you, and you fucked them all up.

Speaker:

This was when you threw the shovel.

Speaker:

Hit the big red button, baby.

Speaker:

Ocean is going to go for the big giant door that he saw in his vision.

Speaker:

It's almost like pure instinct.

Speaker:

It's not even like he's controlling at this point.

Speaker:

It's seeing all this stuff that is so familiar to him that he's never actually seen.

Speaker:

He's just drawn to it like a moth, and he can't stop.

Speaker:

He just keeps following, and so he goes towards the door that he saw in his vision, and he tries to get it open.

Speaker:

Okay, there are these huge, like, hydraulic locks on it.

Speaker:

Like, this door is massive, massive, and it has these, like, big windows on it that you can't really see anything, and there's just this light bathing through, this, like, green light glowing.

Speaker:

But there is a little terminal with a passcode on the side.

Speaker:

I can't fucking read, so...

Speaker:

Yeah, but you know, you have the...

Speaker:

You could always try the passcode from your vision.

Speaker:

Yeah, he's gonna try...

Speaker:

Once more, he's gonna try the same passcode, but he's gonna tap the screen, and it turns on.

Speaker:

Yep, it glows up.

Speaker:

You see a bunch of numbers.

Speaker:

I assume you can recognize numbers.

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah, he can recognize stuff.

Speaker:

It's just he doesn't know what the letters sounded out and stuff mean, so...

Speaker:

Give me a try something challenging roll.

Speaker:

That's a 10.

Speaker:

A 10?

Speaker:

That's a 10.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker:

Bro, you're gonna get superpowers too, dude?

Speaker:

I suspect I'm actually gonna die of radiation poisoning shortly.

Speaker:

You punch the numbers in, and the whole screen turns green, and you hear all these disengaging locks, and the doors slowly start opening as this klaxon starts ringing throughout the entire hospital.

Speaker:

Hey everybody, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Oops!

Speaker:

All Apocalypses.

Speaker:

I'm sorry for any characters I may have killed that people enjoy.

Speaker:

I hope I have to say that way more.

Speaker:

The music, editing, and inexplicable elevator music was created by Stu Masterson.

Speaker:

Brady McDonough made that logo, and a little birdie told me there may be some new artwork soon.

Speaker:

And Jacob paints with all the colors of the wind.

Speaker:

Join us next week for some more spooky hospital adventures.

Speaker:

Love you, bye.

Speaker:

Oh, God.

About the Podcast

Show artwork for Oops! All Apocalypses
Oops! All Apocalypses
An exploration of the collapse of society, via TTRPGs

About your hosts

Profile picture for Stu Masterson

Stu Masterson

Plays the Apocalypse. Also does music and editing.
Profile picture for Brady McDonough

Brady McDonough

Plays Book McReady. Draws the things. Lacks experience.
Profile picture for Jacob Cecil

Jacob Cecil

Plays Ocean. Has questionable knowledge about monkeys.