Episode 4
Episode 4: Weird Al-polka-lypse
Book and Ocean find themselves in the penthouse of local warlord Crandle. The reclamation of the mysterious "TTE" device is within their reach, but can they outsmart, outmaneuver, or out-prank this ruthless warlord?
This one is almost entirely about Weird Al.
----------------------
Socials, Merch, Free Music, and Other Stuff: https://linktr.ee/oopsall
Transcript
Are you are you re-recording that or are you just moving on?
Speaker:Yeah, I'm doing one more.
Speaker:Love it.
Speaker:If I mess this one up, I'll use the second one.
Speaker:I think you should do like the George Lucas.
Speaker:Do you remember Dexter Jetster from Attack of the Clones?
Speaker:No, literally no one knows this person.
Speaker:He's like the six armed dude that hugs Obi-Wan in the diner.
Speaker:Oh God, yeah, I remember that guy.
Speaker:Don't lie to make Brady feel good.
Speaker:Okay, so apparently the digital effects artist, he's in the movie for like two minutes and he has like four lines.
Speaker:Apparently, the digital effects artists created so many different variations to keep George Lucas happy, and he turned down all of them and went basically appendage by or feature by feature and selected different parts of the ones that he liked and made them mash them together for this character that's in the movie for less than two minutes.
Speaker:That sounds like a very George Lucas thing to do.
Speaker:And that's what I'm suggesting you do with this intro, Stu.
Speaker:Welcome to Oops!
Speaker:All Apocalypses, a show where we explore the collapse of society by playing a fun tabletop role-playing game.
Speaker:I'm here with my good friends.
Speaker:Is that my cue?
Speaker:That's your cue.
Speaker:I'm here with a couple of my good friends.
Speaker:Oh, hey guys.
Speaker:Hey.
Speaker:Oh shit.
Speaker:Could you introduce yourselves?
Speaker:Hey guys, I'm Brady, and I play Book, a sharp-witted sleuth who is cool under pressure when he's not haunted by his tragic past.
Speaker:I'm going back to the first one.
Speaker:Well, I like it less.
Speaker:And I have one more friend here.
Speaker:One more friend hiding in the corner right now, afraid to come out.
Speaker:And I'm Jacob.
Speaker:I'm playing Ocean, a gentle giant who now has an irrational fear of spotlights.
Speaker:I think we should go back, since we've gotten such positive feedback on this since our last episode that we recorded.
Speaker:I think we're going to go back to the questions that help people fall in love.
Speaker:Yeah, we got a lot of positive comments about that.
Speaker:Y'all loved it.
Speaker:Just to be clear, we are not on Twitter, and we don't have a Gmail.
Speaker:We are not accepting constructive criticism.
Speaker:We definitely did not record these two episodes in the same recording session.
Speaker:Yeah, between in our short break, I had a raven land on my windowsill and pecked on it, and I took that as a positive omen for the intro.
Speaker:Honestly, that could go either way, to be honest with you.
Speaker:That makes me feel a little worried.
Speaker:I think it's positive because he was eviscerated by a neighborhood cat.
Speaker:I like birds.
Speaker:Okay, good.
Speaker:I don't think birds are real, so.
Speaker:We're gonna get into another political debate.
Speaker:Fucking Biden's America and these birds.
Speaker:Those damn spy birds.
Speaker:Obama birds.
Speaker:No, the Obama birds are the UAVs that they used to bomb Iraq and Afghanistan.
Speaker:So our second question on our list of questions that will make Book and Ocean fall in love or me fall in love with them, we haven't figured out yet, is would you like to be famous?
Speaker:In what way?
Speaker:This is a really simple answer for Ocean.
Speaker:Ocean would not like to be famous.
Speaker:I think he would very much be content to fade into obscurity and never interact with very many people again, besides his like one or two close acquaintances.
Speaker:So I don't see him enjoying the spotlight of fame.
Speaker:If you were famous, though, and by you, I mean Ocean.
Speaker:If Ocean was famous, what way would he like to be famous?
Speaker:I'm just interested.
Speaker:This is well beyond falling in love.
Speaker:Ocean would love to be famous for being the one who finally reaches the bottom of these deep, dark caverns and figured out what the hell is down there.
Speaker:That is that's a very good answer.
Speaker:I like it.
Speaker:Now Book, you've read a lot of books.
Speaker:There are some famous people in some books.
Speaker:What's your favorite book?
Speaker:Yeah, I think.
Speaker:Oh, that's not the question.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:I'll have to pass on that.
Speaker:The correct answer was myself is what you sort of said.
Speaker:Oh, cute.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:Book wants to be remembered.
Speaker:I don't necessarily think he wants to be famous, but I think he wants to be like have a he definitely wants to have a name for himself.
Speaker:And more importantly, he wants to have a name for his parents.
Speaker:And I think in the opposite way that Ocean wants to be famous, Book would want to be known for reaching the top, reaching the surface and kind of shepherding everyone to safety back above ground.
Speaker:Kind of polar opposites here on what they want to be famous for.
Speaker:So you would rather not be famous, but still be remembered like you'd rather be a Van Gogh type than an Andy Warhol.
Speaker:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker:That's interesting.
Speaker:Or like, no, Van Gogh is a good example, you know, or like an Ed Ground Poe.
Speaker:Or even less famous, sadder person.
Speaker:Just really tragic, sad people.
Speaker:Is what he's aiming for.
Speaker:That's his goal in life.
Speaker:Excellent.
Speaker:I like that.
Speaker:That makes me sad.
Speaker:But what is your favorite book?
Speaker:What is his favorite book?
Speaker:Calculus for Beginners.
Speaker:I think his favorite book probably is The Hobbit.
Speaker:There's only one correct answer.
Speaker:It's the Bible, who our cool friend Jesus wrote for us.
Speaker:I love the idea that Jesus sat down and definitely ghost wrote it under all of his friends' names.
Speaker:Just straight up, I'm going to say.
Speaker:I'm going to give this dude just a real shitty name.
Speaker:Just fuck this guy Judas in particular.
Speaker:I'm just going to make all my friends say they hate him.
Speaker:I don't know if you're familiar.
Speaker:There's this character in the second Star Wars prequel movie that had a bunch of different arms and hugs Obi-Wan for just one second.
Speaker:This character, I can't remember his name ever, but he hugs Obi-Wan for one second.
Speaker:I'm not even mad because at least you learned something.
Speaker:I taught you something and you actually listened because usually you just ignore that whole section.
Speaker:Basically, what happened is George Lucas refused to accept any of the draft versions that all of the creators, the animators were coming up with, and instead he just picked and chooses parts from all of them and forced them to remash together and cause this massive rework.
Speaker:It's like this ridiculous story of George Lucas.
Speaker:But I think that's what our cool friend Jesus did with the Bible, where he took 12 drafts of it and was like, man, I don't know which one to choose.
Speaker:So he's like, I'm going to just say Mark wrote this one.
Speaker:This dude Mark wrote this one, but I'm going to do the spicier flavor and say John made that one up.
Speaker:And then he just kind of spread the blame around.
Speaker:He's like, and then he would ask people, he'd be like, Hey, did you like Mark's better?
Speaker:Did you?
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:It got pretty weird at the end there, right?
Speaker:Was that a little bit too crazy or was that kind of kind of avant-garde?
Speaker:Our cool friend Jesus sounds way more self-conscious than I ever pictured him.
Speaker:He's like, I definitely didn't write any of that.
Speaker:It was just all my buddies.
Speaker:They just loved to like talk about me.
Speaker:And I told them they should like start a book club, and it just kind of became this whole thing.
Speaker:But really, it was all him.
Speaker:Love it.
Speaker:Well, now that I have to either cut all of that or never tell my family about this podcast.
Speaker:I want our cool friend Jesus to be a reoccurring, reoccurring character.
Speaker:I would love if there's an NPC introduced this episode called Jesus.
Speaker:That's our cool friend.
Speaker:I love that dude.
Speaker:Yeah, that's our cool friend.
Speaker:But with that, let's get back to the action.
Speaker:This chair has spun around, revealing the visage, the body of Crandle, the local warlord that you've come to see.
Speaker:You've met some of his men already, but you are now in his domain.
Speaker:Now, Crandle, everyone you've met so far looks like pretty typical Raiders, scavenger type people, all pretty yoked, all pretty battle scarred.
Speaker:Crandle doesn't look anything like that.
Speaker:Crandle looks exactly like someone who would tell you Mr.
Speaker:Mime is their favorite Pokemon.
Speaker:And I'm going to need you guys to describe how he looks, starting from the top and heading down.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:He has, in my mind, the sickliest looking toupee or comb over, just wisps, just single wisps.
Speaker:Like for every inch strip of head laterally across his head, there is one hair.
Speaker:It's like the Homer Simpson.
Speaker:They've got to be at least like eight inches long each, because he's trying to get the maximum coverage for each hair.
Speaker:But he has just a really bushy sides.
Speaker:Okay, now you've just started describing Mr.
Speaker:Mime.
Speaker:He's got really red cheeks, nice gloves.
Speaker:I think he's in an oversized suit, an oversized pinstripe suit.
Speaker:Oh, I like that.
Speaker:I think he's very thin and short, but he tries to make himself look bigger with his oversized suit.
Speaker:I think he has heterochromia.
Speaker:So one eye is blue, one eye brown.
Speaker:And on his desk is just a big machine gun.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:I appreciate it.
Speaker:Just imagine that.
Speaker:Imagine this dude is not very intimidating, but he's got a massive gun just sitting right there.
Speaker:Now I'm just picturing Scarface.
Speaker:What is his name?
Speaker:It's Al something.
Speaker:That's his Christian name.
Speaker:Al Pacino?
Speaker:Yeah, Al Pacino.
Speaker:How can you?
Speaker:Al Pacino?
Speaker:I have a bad brain.
Speaker:I'm not like Book at all.
Speaker:You can remember Dexter Jester, but you can't remember Al Pacino.
Speaker:That should tell you everything you need to know about.
Speaker:That really does, to be honest.
Speaker:I think that should be a thing of pride.
Speaker:Any jewelry, necklaces, rings?
Speaker:I think he has a lot of gaudy jewelry.
Speaker:I'm picturing like a Casio watch, like a Casio calculator watch.
Speaker:There's a lot of techie stuff.
Speaker:Okay, and I think that leaves us with shoes.
Speaker:None.
Speaker:Barefoot.
Speaker:He's like Steve Jobs.
Speaker:He doesn't believe in having shoes.
Speaker:He wants to say grounded to the earth.
Speaker:And as this man you have just scribed turns around and says, Hello, boys.
Speaker:Welcome to Crandle's place.
Speaker:He holds an arm out and bids you to sit in two chairs.
Speaker:Hey.
Speaker:You can see his unclothed feet wrinkling in the thick shag carpet from underneath his desk.
Speaker:This makes me very uncomfortable.
Speaker:Hey, I'm Red MacBook.
Speaker:It's nice to meet you, Crandle.
Speaker:That's a ridiculous name.
Speaker:I'm Red MacBook.
Speaker:Ocean, that sounds pretty straightforward.
Speaker:He just cautiously looks around and slowly starts sitting in the chair.
Speaker:Have a seat, boys.
Speaker:Have a seat.
Speaker:Well, thank you.
Speaker:You can just call me Red.
Speaker:Red.
Speaker:Oh, I like it.
Speaker:I like it.
Speaker:Man, I kind of regret describing him as a person, because I feel like we should have described him as a giant frog.
Speaker:You could have.
Speaker:I gave you all the power.
Speaker:We could have made this apocalypse even weirder, but no, we didn't go for it.
Speaker:That would have become horrific really soon.
Speaker:That would have changed everything.
Speaker:I heard that you maybe had a little something that you wanted to show me.
Speaker:Maybe trade with me.
Speaker:Maybe have a little exchange.
Speaker:Maybe.
Speaker:Okay, so I nod.
Speaker:I nod at Ocean.
Speaker:I'm like, let's show him the goods.
Speaker:You can see he stands up and waves his arms on.
Speaker:I already have almost anything I could need.
Speaker:And you see this place is like fully furnished with basically a sharper image catalog or like a sky mall.
Speaker:Like it's mostly useless bullshit.
Speaker:That's semi high tech everywhere.
Speaker:He's got like a waffle maker with a TV on it.
Speaker:He's got shit.
Speaker:I always have one example in my brain.
Speaker:He's got the nicest back massagers in several of his big plush chairs just hooked up to a way overloaded search protector.
Speaker:Well, I guess I already know that Ocean floor is yours.
Speaker:I promise you this is something to see.
Speaker:And I open up my backpack and hand it open to Book for him to pull out the device.
Speaker:OK, so I reach in and I try to like organize the cables a little bit so it doesn't look like too much of a mess.
Speaker:And I try to present it.
Speaker:So I pull it out and I set it on the table to my left.
Speaker:And I say, what you're looking at here is a genuine, bona fide Toshiba Touch human interfacing computational device.
Speaker:Interesting.
Speaker:This has lots of wires on it.
Speaker:He walks a little bit closer to it.
Speaker:He goes, before we talk business, maybe we should have a drink amongst friends.
Speaker:And he goes and he has a very fancy Whirlpool refrigerator.
Speaker:He opens up and he pulls out three Sierra Mists, puts two in front of you, and then he opens one and starts drinking it.
Speaker:Ocean reaches out and grabs one of them and cautiously pops it open and waits for him to take a drink before.
Speaker:It explodes when you open it.
Speaker:So much Sierra Mist goes hurling everywhere, and he just is dying laughing.
Speaker:And then he waits and looks at you.
Speaker:I grab it.
Speaker:He's just sitting there frozen, holding the drink out in front of him.
Speaker:I grab it, and I slowly crack the seal, just ever so slightly.
Speaker:When you just barely crack it, a ton of air comes out.
Speaker:It doesn't explode as bad, but it definitely fills up and like fizzes up the top.
Speaker:But you avoided the explosion very well.
Speaker:And he goes, Oh, we got a smart one over here.
Speaker:And his was fine.
Speaker:He opens and he's sipping on it.
Speaker:Yours tastes very flat, Ocean.
Speaker:I can imagine.
Speaker:I imagine there's not much left in the can.
Speaker:I'm not used to fizzy drinks or soda, so this is the best thing I've ever tasted flat or not.
Speaker:Sierra Mist from how many years ago?
Speaker:The most delicious drink.
Speaker:He goes, enjoy that.
Speaker:There's not many left.
Speaker:Apparently in 2023, they canceled Sierra Mist and replaced it with something called Starry.
Speaker:That sounds less good.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I haven't tried it.
Speaker:Thanks for sharing with us.
Speaker:That's awful kind of you.
Speaker:Thanks for getting pranked.
Speaker:Do you want some jerky?
Speaker:No, thank you.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So where did you find this?
Speaker:I'm sorry, what was that?
Speaker:Where did you find this?
Speaker:I actually, I'm a scavenger.
Speaker:I search around, look for cool things to bring back to our shop.
Speaker:And I was told that when I found this, I was told that this might be something that you're interested in.
Speaker:So I figured I'd come out here and see what we could get.
Speaker:Yeah, but who told you where it was at?
Speaker:Well, we, well, your reputation precedes you.
Speaker:And we saw this and we just immediately thought that you were the person who had to have it.
Speaker:As a scavenger, I've heard many stories about the different things that you're attracted by.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Tell me some stories you've heard of me.
Speaker:Well, I've only...
Speaker:Regale me!
Speaker:Regale Crandle!
Speaker:Well, I've heard that you have impeccable taste.
Speaker:I do taste delicious.
Speaker:You probably have one of the most impressive technological collections.
Speaker:Yes, yes.
Speaker:In all of the underground.
Speaker:Yes, that is probably true.
Speaker:I've always wanted to see it, to be honest with you.
Speaker:I don't think I've ever seen this many marvels.
Speaker:I should look around and act very impressed.
Speaker:This keeps things cool, and this heats things up.
Speaker:This one massages the back.
Speaker:This one is a pen that has six different colors, depending on which one you press down.
Speaker:He presses the blue one.
Speaker:How do you?
Speaker:Crazy!
Speaker:Who's heard of a blue pen?
Speaker:Definitely not one like that.
Speaker:How do you power all this stuff?
Speaker:Oh, we still got a hook up here.
Speaker:Wow, with these kinds of resources, you must be the most powerful man in Subtropolis.
Speaker:Could be, could be.
Speaker:I like you too.
Speaker:What do you want from me?
Speaker:Well, hey, we heard one of the things that we heard about you is that you had discovered something called a TTE.
Speaker:And as fellow scavengers...
Speaker:Who told you that?
Speaker:Well, to be honest, we're not, we're not even really that intrigued by that.
Speaker:We figured if you have one of those, you must have something even better.
Speaker:Yeah, yes, I have much better.
Speaker:But that is one of my favorite devices.
Speaker:You have already been pranked by it today.
Speaker:That is my Tickle Tickle Explode device.
Speaker:Oh, how does it work?
Speaker:You put a soda can on it, apply power and it shakes it really hard.
Speaker:What a technological marvel.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Let's see what else?
Speaker:What's if if that's one of your most favorite devices, what's the most favorite device that you own?
Speaker:Hmm.
Speaker:It's a very personal question for someone who likes things.
Speaker:Give me a Sway Someone roll.
Speaker:Oh, that was a 13.
Speaker:13, he goes.
Speaker:But you seem to be a man of impeccable taste.
Speaker:My most used device.
Speaker:I love them all equally.
Speaker:But my most used device is my humidor.
Speaker:It is made of the finest mahogany.
Speaker:It keeps my vapes at a perfect 20% humidity.
Speaker:I will show you it here.
Speaker:And he reaches down and he pulls out a beautiful, it is a beautiful humidor that he pulls a drawer out and pulls out a jewel and gets a cigar cutter and clips the tip off of it.
Speaker:I was expecting a walk-in humidor.
Speaker:So this is like a portable one.
Speaker:This is, yeah, it's a shitty one.
Speaker:Not shitty.
Speaker:It's a small portable one that you would get from a catalog somewhere, not a full walking humidor.
Speaker:He clips the tip off of it with a cigar cutter.
Speaker:He almost puffs from it.
Speaker:He goes, hold on.
Speaker:I need my vaping jacket.
Speaker:And he stands up and he goes, and he switches this one out with a worse jacket.
Speaker:What's his other one look like?
Speaker:I'm just picturing a bathrobe.
Speaker:It's like a velour bathrobe.
Speaker:Yes, he swaps it out and it's purple and plush and velvety.
Speaker:And he goes, this is my vaping jacket.
Speaker:And he puffs on his jewel.
Speaker:He goes, would you like one?
Speaker:I'm OK for now, but thank you.
Speaker:I'm still sipping my delicious drink.
Speaker:But hey, I would hate to separate you from your most prized possession.
Speaker:So I would settle for the Tickle Tickle Explode device in exchange for this.
Speaker:Let me be honest, I don't know if that's what it stands for.
Speaker:That's my best guess.
Speaker:I would settle for that for this computational human interfacing screen, touchscreen Toshiba device.
Speaker:And from my understanding, one of these can do almost anything you want.
Speaker:Anything?
Speaker:Give me a Sway Someone roll.
Speaker:I'm nervous because I just been rolling good.
Speaker:Yeah, you just got a good roll.
Speaker:You wasted the good one.
Speaker:That was an 8.
Speaker:For straight up trade?
Speaker:Yours does not even function.
Speaker:I think all you have to do is plug it in.
Speaker:And you have plenty of power here.
Speaker:That's something that we couldn't even dream of powering back home for me.
Speaker:But does it work right now?
Speaker:And I want it now.
Speaker:I don't want to figure out how to plug it in.
Speaker:Well, I turned to Book and I'm like, do you think we can figure out how to use this thing real quick?
Speaker:Yeah, I'm thinking.
Speaker:Maybe we can try plugging it in and see how we can bullshit this.
Speaker:I think if we exchange goods and services, we might be able to work this out.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:Let's give it a shot.
Speaker:All right.
Speaker:I'm blanking on his name.
Speaker:Crandle.
Speaker:All right, Crandle.
Speaker:What if we were to set it up for you?
Speaker:And in exchange for those, the goods and the services, you give us your Tickle Tickle Explode device.
Speaker:What services?
Speaker:Just the hookup.
Speaker:And we can show you how to use it.
Speaker:If you can get it working, if you can get it working in the next 10 minutes, I will do a straight up trade.
Speaker:Your time begins now.
Speaker:And he pulls out an ostentatious stopwatch.
Speaker:OK, so I take a look at the the wires coming out of the machine.
Speaker:I think I already identified a couple of them.
Speaker:The one that I think is for the power, the cord is it has a split end.
Speaker:So I rummage around Ocean's bag to see if he has a standard outlet that we would be able to wire into the cord here.
Speaker:Like I'm looking for a plug.
Speaker:So we have the cord, but the cord got cut.
Speaker:So there's no plug at the end of it.
Speaker:And I'm looking for something that we would be able to use as a plug so we can charge this thing.
Speaker:What would you have?
Speaker:I don't think you have something that is just a loose plug, but you could have something that already has a plug.
Speaker:OK, so I look at Ocean and we kind of we nod at each other.
Speaker:I take out my Swiss Army knife.
Speaker:I step on each of the blades.
Speaker:I have two kind of rusty blades.
Speaker:I step on each blade and I snap them off.
Speaker:And then I feed them into the wire so that the snapped ends are pointing out and I wrap them in our with our paper clips.
Speaker:And then I tape it all together and I plug it into the outlet.
Speaker:They give me an act under fire.
Speaker:OK, can I use my knowledge of tinkering with the truck to make everything work with the wiring and stuff like that to aid book in this situation?
Speaker:Yes, you can wait till after he rolls to if you want to figure out.
Speaker:I got another eight.
Speaker:Do you want to aid him for a full success?
Speaker:I will aid him for a full to see if we can get a full success.
Speaker:OK, well, that helps someone.
Speaker:Oh, that's a 12.
Speaker:Oh, nice.
Speaker:You each get plus one HX with each other, and that becomes a full success.
Speaker:You hook it up and you're just about to plug it in.
Speaker:Book when Ocean stops you and is like, wait a second, and he puts some insulation around the edge to be able to give you a good gripping point to be able to wedge it all the way in there without it breaking or shocking the shit out of you.
Speaker:He is experienced with getting electrocuted.
Speaker:I was about to say, I don't want to go through that again.
Speaker:Can I write on and say that I use the all or the corkscrew as the grounding?
Speaker:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker:And you're able to smash it in there.
Speaker:And what happens when the power gets applied to it?
Speaker:Well, I'm hoping that the screen turns on.
Speaker:Well, the screen does come on.
Speaker:It says Toshiba.
Speaker:OK.
Speaker:And then it's black for a little bit.
Speaker:OK, I tap it.
Speaker:I just start tapping it.
Speaker:Trying to get...
Speaker:OK, you can see there is some little indicator.
Speaker:When you tap, there's a little circle that pops up.
Speaker:But I don't think it's hooked up to any data source, right?
Speaker:Well, it has to have like internal memory of some kind.
Speaker:Yeah, it gives you a boot screen.
Speaker:OK, so I hit F12 just getting like error, error, no error.
Speaker:No, it says error.
Speaker:No computer.
Speaker:This is a ripped off space.
Speaker:OK, so no, no, no.
Speaker:Well, it's a Toshiba tablet screen that has one of those keyboards that can plug into it, but there's no keyboard.
Speaker:So it's a it's a functioning device.
Speaker:I was about to say, so is this like a tablet like a tablet?
Speaker:Basically like a cheap Android tablet instead of like a fancy iPad.
Speaker:It's self-contained.
Speaker:OK, so here I turn to Crandle and I say, what do you want to control?
Speaker:I can control anything.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Anything with this?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:I want to control that one.
Speaker:Any points in Ocean.
Speaker:Sorry, can I?
Speaker:Sorry, I didn't mean to be misleading there.
Speaker:What sort of device do you want to control with this?
Speaker:Is there anything that like you're having trouble with that you that's not working?
Speaker:He looks very dejected.
Speaker:And then he looks up and he goes, Well, yes, I have this right here that has music on it that I'm unable to.
Speaker:It only plays one song after the next, and I do not know how to choose the songs or set it to shuffle.
Speaker:Okay, do you have?
Speaker:Is it an iPod shuffle?
Speaker:It's the tiny iPod shuffle, like the little USB stick.
Speaker:Disgusting.
Speaker:Do you have a charging cord for that that we can use?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:He pulls out a drawer that's just filled with different cords, and he spends the next four minutes rummaging through it, which takes off most of your time.
Speaker:You're down to two minutes.
Speaker:Okay, so did we get the cord though?
Speaker:Yes, he gives you the cord.
Speaker:Okay, so I unplug the other cord sticking out of our Toshiba device, and I try to see if any of the ends match the one that he handed us to find the right port for it.
Speaker:Yeah, you find a USB port.
Speaker:Okay, great.
Speaker:And I plug in the iPod shuffle, and I'm hoping that iTunes pops up.
Speaker:You see iTunes pop up, and it's all of Weird Al's discography.
Speaker:That explains so much.
Speaker:And I go, Hey, Crandle, I got something to show you.
Speaker:Play Amish Paradise.
Speaker:Okay, so I tap.
Speaker:I start swiping around.
Speaker:I'm tapping stuff, trying to figure out how everything works.
Speaker:It's the first song alphabetically.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So I tap Amish Paradise, and I hope that this thing has fucking speakers.
Speaker:It has the worst speakers of all time in it.
Speaker:It's just like very tinny, but he starts dancing to Amish Paradise.
Speaker:Mostly shoulders.
Speaker:Mostly shoulders.
Speaker:But you only get like 12 seconds in, and he starts clapping, and he goes, Oh, oh, play, um, shit.
Speaker:What's the name of the one that's American Pie, but Star Wars?
Speaker:The Saga Begins?
Speaker:The Saga Begins play that one.
Speaker:Okay, I swipe down to S.
Speaker:It's like way far.
Speaker:He's got like 300 songs.
Speaker:And he's like, How did you play that one so fast?
Speaker:Well, hey, come over here and I'll show you.
Speaker:I mean, I want you to be able to use this when we're, I mean, when we when we leave.
Speaker:He comes and you try to teach him.
Speaker:I use it.
Speaker:Okay, so this is a touchscreen.
Speaker:So it shows you things and you can control things with it.
Speaker:And so when you tap on a song name, you tap on the song name that you want to play and then it plays.
Speaker:And then and then if you tap, there's two lines to the left of the song name.
Speaker:If you tap that, it'll pause it where you're at.
Speaker:And if you hit the two arrows up top that are in a circle, you can shuffle all the songs around.
Speaker:Fascinating.
Speaker:While there's so many different polka songs, I thought that was one song, but he's got like 12 different polka songs.
Speaker:No one likes them.
Speaker:Just keeps doing them anyway.
Speaker:I love that Weird Al has made it through to posterity in this apocalypse.
Speaker:He goes, this is a boon, a boon upon me.
Speaker:I appreciate your assistance.
Speaker:Yeah, I mean, I think if you had a nicer set of speakers, you could probably plug those in too.
Speaker:And you could get some really nice beats going here.
Speaker:I mean, you could hook it up to the whole hotel speaker system and play them to everyone.
Speaker:Fascinating.
Speaker:Weird Al for the populace.
Speaker:Weird Al for my men.
Speaker:Well, certainly Weird Al for me.
Speaker:I've never heard him before, but he is my favorite artist now for sure.
Speaker:As Ocean has, I assume he probably has a quite a bit of musical experience because of all of his stuff.
Speaker:Ocean is just like nodding a little grimace as he listens to the polka songs over and over again.
Speaker:I'm imagining that I have a ton of sheet music, but absolutely no idea of what it sounds like.
Speaker:I think it's like encoded.
Speaker:I think the songs on the sheet music are actually like some kind of ambigram.
Speaker:He got to crack the code.
Speaker:He goes, I think this is an equitable trade for my pranking device.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:Well, that's awesome.
Speaker:Can we shake on that?
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:His hand is moist.
Speaker:It's sticky from the Sierra Mist.
Speaker:His hand.
Speaker:Yeah, that's better.
Speaker:His hand isn't necessarily moist, but it is sticky.
Speaker:He goes to the side and he has a little curtain set up that he pulls to the side.
Speaker:And you see there is this device that says it looks just like your blueprints you have.
Speaker:It says TTE on it.
Speaker:And then you notice behind it, it is hooked to a lot of equipment.
Speaker:I like that it's to power this thing.
Speaker:He's got it like connected to like some generators and things like that.
Speaker:It seems way overkill for something to shake sodas.
Speaker:Okay, Book is Ocean.
Speaker:Is it small enough to fit in Ocean's backpack?
Speaker:Not in the backpack.
Speaker:It's Ocean can carry it.
Speaker:Okay, so I'm going to be the mule for the rest of this, I guess.
Speaker:Okay, I am going to pick it up.
Speaker:I'll let Book unplug it because he probably knows more about the wiring and stuff.
Speaker:And I'll give Crandle a little salute and be like, I appreciate the service.
Speaker:I think this is quite a good trade.
Speaker:Excellent.
Speaker:Hold on.
Speaker:Don't go yet.
Speaker:You guys seem to have very good taste in music.
Speaker:I like to give people mixtapes as they leave.
Speaker:Hold on.
Speaker:I would love above that.
Speaker:Here you go.
Speaker:That's so generous.
Speaker:It's not all Weird Al, I promise.
Speaker:I listen to like that real gangster rap.
Speaker:You know what I'm talking about?
Speaker:Like dope beats, the quick raps.
Speaker:I love rap.
Speaker:That was my previous favorite before Weird Al.
Speaker:I've made some custom CDs for you too, based on your old personalities.
Speaker:He could not have done this in that amount of time.
Speaker:He's not done anything.
Speaker:That's so generous.
Speaker:Super cool.
Speaker:But he gives you two CD cases that are like, they got like a note card, index card shoved in the front, and that says like ultra hot rap mixed tape, and then like parentheses old school, number one, and he hands it to both of you.
Speaker:Can I open it and just make sure that there's actually the thing inside of it that he says is in there?
Speaker:You open it and the album is The Vessels by 21 Pilots.
Speaker:It's some real hard shit.
Speaker:I feel myself getting judged by my co-hosts here.
Speaker:Don't play that around the children.
Speaker:It's some real hard shit.
Speaker:I appreciate the warning, Crandle.
Speaker:We'll be careful.
Speaker:And you take care of yourself.
Speaker:And it was great meeting you.
Speaker:And I make for the door.
Speaker:Ocean kind of waves at him and starts falling over, falling book towards the elevator.
Speaker:He is engrossed in his Weird Al machine that you've crafted for him.
Speaker:And he just keeps playing different 14 seconds of songs while you get in the elevator and start heading down.
Speaker:I turn over to Book and I'm like, that went way smoother than I thought it would, besides the serum is spraying all over me.
Speaker:Yeah, you are sticky too.
Speaker:Oh, my God.
Speaker:Same.
Speaker:I'm so glad.
Speaker:I'm so glad nothing blew up.
Speaker:I was so certain that something was going to blow up.
Speaker:I thought he was going to shoot us.
Speaker:I'll be honest.
Speaker:He had the machine gun that he never noticed and referenced in any way.
Speaker:Sitting there as an intimidation tactic, I guess.
Speaker:That was some great world building that Stu ignored completely.
Speaker:Or intentional or intentionally.
Speaker:He ignored it as an insight in Crandle's character.
Speaker:So look, Ocean, I don't think we're out of the woods yet.
Speaker:Let's be careful on our way out.
Speaker:Should we try going out, going back a different route?
Speaker:See if we can avoid the Crandle's territory entirely.
Speaker:I want to say bye to Vesuvius.
Speaker:Me too.
Speaker:I'll be honest.
Speaker:Yeah, I want to say bye too.
Speaker:That's just a real cool dude, wasn't he?
Speaker:He was like my favorite person I've ever met.
Speaker:Yeah, same.
Speaker:I'll be honest.
Speaker:Okay, how can I kill him before you guys get there?
Speaker:Wolves?
Speaker:Yeah, that would be that would be tragic if the wolves that we told them not to worry about end up being very much something to worry about.
Speaker:Are we have we reached the bottom of the elevator yet?
Speaker:Doors open.
Speaker:Does anything I kind of peek my head out.
Speaker:I was about to say, does anything seem amiss?
Speaker:You step out.
Speaker:It looks pretty similar to how it did before.
Speaker:But you can, I guess, since you're carrying something, I'll say Book, give me a read about situational.
Speaker:Oh, no.
Speaker:One day you won't roll over 10.
Speaker:That is an 11.
Speaker:Not today, though.
Speaker:I know Google is really very generous with its roles.
Speaker:You may ask me three of those questions.
Speaker:I think I know who's in control here, so I'm not going to ask that.
Speaker:And I'm a pretty good idea of how to get out.
Speaker:So I'm going to ask who or what poses the biggest threat to us.
Speaker:You as Ocean starts walking out, carrying this pretty it's pretty heavy ocean.
Speaker:It's not going to like like you'll probably have to take more breaks than usual.
Speaker:You can walk with it, but it's not like you're having to drag it or like struggling the whole time.
Speaker:It's just like heavy.
Speaker:But Ocean starts walking out towards the door.
Speaker:As you're moving through, you're keeping your periphery open, watching what's going on.
Speaker:And you notice one of the people at the bar, it's a woman in probably her mid 20s that has a sawed off shotgun that has a scope that would be completely useless with a sawed off shotgun connected to it.
Speaker:You see her definitely tracking where Ocean's going and seeing that he's carrying something.
Speaker:And then you can tell, since you're so good at reading people, you can tell that she's intentionally trying to make it seem like she's not paying attention to you.
Speaker:Like the way she's looking away, the way she takes a sip from her drink too quickly from when the previous one was, and looks in the opposite corner of where Ocean is, just kind of staring off in the distance.
Speaker:What represents the best opportunity for us to not get followed?
Speaker:You would expect Crandle's men to have a pretty good understanding of the immediate area.
Speaker:You don't know exactly where their turf ends.
Speaker:You know in one direction how far it's kind of scoped out, but you think getting outside of their turf as fast as possible would make it harder for you to be tracked.
Speaker:I don't know if this counts as one of my questions, but is there like a sewer or manhole cover we can drop down without being seen?
Speaker:Like if we turn a colder, turn a corner?
Speaker:On your way in, you remember seeing there was a couple sewer openings, the ones that are like on a curb, whatever that's called.
Speaker:You saw a couple of those.
Speaker:You went kind of down the main thoroughfare, so that's all pretty noticeable.
Speaker:It is dark out, but you didn't have an opportunity to see any that would further away.
Speaker:You would think there would be some.
Speaker:Pretty much every street has some opening into the sewer.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Do I get one more question?
Speaker:Yeah, that was just you asking things.
Speaker:You can always ask me things that you would know or see.
Speaker:And I guess this is kind of similar to the biggest threat question, but what should I be on the lookout for?
Speaker:As you're still walking towards the door, you catch from inside the glass that there is on a light post, there is a camera that you recognize through some of your reading or previous experiences as being very high resolution pointed to the door.
Speaker:And you think it probably didn't get a good view of your face as you came in because it was pointed towards your back.
Speaker:But as you walk out, they're going to have a very high resolution image of your guys' faces as you leave.
Speaker:If you don't account for that in some way.
Speaker:Okay, but you catch it early enough.
Speaker:You're seeing it through the window basically out there where it's obfuscated by some glare, probably from an outside window.
Speaker:Okay, so I nudge Ocean and I say under my breath, I say, hey, when we get out there.
Speaker:So you're saying the camera is outside pointed at the door.
Speaker:And if we turn, if we turn, can we are we able to kind of obscure our faces without looking suspicious?
Speaker:Um, I think Ocean could probably Ocean, I think, because you're taller than me.
Speaker:Yeah, I think I can easily obscure myself by lifting the thing just a little bit higher to cover my face.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And do you think I'll hide behind?
Speaker:I'm pretty tall dude.
Speaker:So if you hide behind me, we should be able to get away.
Speaker:Avoid being seen.
Speaker:I would say that may look a little weird if people happen to see you like being very close to him or hunching under him.
Speaker:He's not that much time.
Speaker:But you don't think it would be like tremendously alarming to someone to see you moving like that.
Speaker:Oh, I got it.
Speaker:OK.
Speaker:Ocean.
Speaker:Let me.
Speaker:So I turned to Ocean and go, Hey, let me let me help you out the door with that.
Speaker:It's kind of a narrow door for that thing.
Speaker:And so I turn and I set us up so that Ocean is walking backwards out of the door and I am on the other side.
Speaker:But I'm hopefully hoping that the angle of the camera that I'll be short enough so that it can't see me as I'm helping him outside.
Speaker:Yeah, I like that.
Speaker:The TT.
Speaker:No, I'm not going to make you roll for that.
Speaker:That makes sense.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You hold it up.
Speaker:You think it's blocking your face as you go out.
Speaker:You don't see the camera.
Speaker:You kind of have your head angled down a little bit.
Speaker:Ocean, you are adept enough at walking backwards that this is no trouble to you.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So you make it all right.
Speaker:Definitely outside of the range of the camera, you think, or outside of the field of view.
Speaker:OK.
Speaker:And then once we're out of the field of view, I turn to Ocean and say, all right, hey, you got this, right?
Speaker:You can take this.
Speaker:Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll fight.
Speaker:But Gretchen is like, yeah, I can carry it.
Speaker:Thanks, man.
Speaker:Cool, cool, cool.
Speaker:So I don't think I didn't like the look of that lady at the bar with the shotgun, with the scope.
Speaker:I think Crandle might not be quite as cool with us leaving as he let on.
Speaker:Yeah, but I don't think they're going to kill us or come after us inside their territory, because that's a little bit too obvious.
Speaker:I think they're going to let us get off our guard.
Speaker:And I want them to see us leave, because I want them to be comfortable that we're not, you know, trying to sneak around and steal stuff.
Speaker:So I think we should go back the way we came, say bye to Vesuvius, but the first chance we get, we should try to drop down into the sewers and find our way home.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:By memory.
Speaker:I like that plan, because yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker:I think they're going to try and reclaim this pretty quickly after we get out of here.
Speaker:Yeah, he seemed to like shaking up those sprites.
Speaker:He really liked shaking those sprites.
Speaker:Yeah, I feel kind of bad that I took the wind out of his sails.
Speaker:But all right, let's get a move on.
Speaker:I think we should be fair.
Speaker:We should try to be quick.
Speaker:Are you trying to find a alleyway before or after Vesuvius?
Speaker:As soon as we're out of Vesuvius' site, we want to drop down.
Speaker:But we want Vesuvius to see us leave so that they know we're not.
Speaker:Yeah, we want them to know that.
Speaker:We want them to think that we know that we're being going to be chased here.
Speaker:So they want us to think.
Speaker:I guess we don't want them to think that we're suspicious of them.
Speaker:So you're casually walking out right now.
Speaker:So your plan is to casually walk past and get to an alleyway, get into the sewers, right?
Speaker:When you're out of view.
Speaker:OK, I'm going to roll that into one try something challenging role.
Speaker:That series of actions.
Speaker:Who's taking point on this?
Speaker:Obviously, help someone is on the table for this.
Speaker:I think Ocean should take point.
Speaker:Yeah, since I'm carrying it, that makes...
Speaker:Because you're the one carrying the big heavy thing.
Speaker:So I guess I will do that.
Speaker:I'm probably going to need some assistance, I think, for sure.
Speaker:But give it a shot.
Speaker:Oh, never mind.
Speaker:That's a 12.
Speaker:That is a 12.
Speaker:Do you have a minus one?
Speaker:That is actually an 11.
Speaker:You are correct.
Speaker:I have a minus one.
Speaker:Perfect box cars up in here.
Speaker:Yeah, you can do it.
Speaker:So you go past...
Speaker:Do we say goodbye to Vesuvius?
Speaker:Yes, as you come up to Vesuvius, you go, Hey, y'all, you already heading out?
Speaker:Yeah, we got everything we need.
Speaker:Yeah, man.
Speaker:Oh, man, you've loaded up.
Speaker:It was great meeting you.
Speaker:I hope you like the jerky.
Speaker:No, man, it's pretty tasty.
Speaker:It's still...
Speaker:Still sucking on that air?
Speaker:It's still pretty good.
Speaker:Glad to see it.
Speaker:Well, man, if you're ever in town, hit us up.
Speaker:Give them a wave.
Speaker:Where are you guys staying?
Speaker:We probably shouldn't tell them, to be honest.
Speaker:Turn to book and be like, yeah, we should tell them.
Speaker:What was the name that we had for Hamlet opening?
Speaker:What do you mean?
Speaker:Do you remember?
Speaker:Oh, the precipice.
Speaker:I say, have you ever heard of the precipice?
Speaker:The precipice?
Speaker:I don't think so.
Speaker:It's pretty far from here, but if you ever want to say hi, that's where you'll find us.
Speaker:Yeah, if I'm ever out scrounging around there, I'll shoot you one.
Speaker:He was not with a gun.
Speaker:That would be good.
Speaker:Take care of yourself.
Speaker:Keep it real.
Speaker:I'm going to miss that guy.
Speaker:And you see the flashlight does follow you for a little bit as you go along before he seems to put it down.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:His vibes were a little different the second time around.
Speaker:But he's got that real sweet drawl.
Speaker:I feel like I can trust him.
Speaker:But not enough to tell him where I actually live.
Speaker:Like a good cop.
Speaker:I hurry over to the to a manhole cover.
Speaker:I'm like, come on, we gotta go.
Speaker:Yeah, Ocean's able to rip that bad boy out.
Speaker:And you guys plop down into the sewers.
Speaker:There's about a couple inches of water here that's barely flowing.
Speaker:Do the sewers line up with the streets above?
Speaker:It doesn't look like they entirely do.
Speaker:It looks like there's some more major ones and then some smaller kind of runoff that you would not fit in well.
Speaker:And you picked one where that actually had a sewer grate they could go into.
Speaker:So not every road has a respective major pipeline.
Speaker:I'm not a simple engineer, but that's my best guess.
Speaker:Ocean, does your compass work down here?
Speaker:It should.
Speaker:I don't see any reason why it shouldn't.
Speaker:I look at my compass to see if it's working.
Speaker:Yeah, it points.
Speaker:It still does its normal thing.
Speaker:The compasses do.
Speaker:Keep track of what direction we're going.
Speaker:Can we correlate?
Speaker:I know the map we got was shitty, but can we kind of use that as like a reference knowing like which way is north and south about where we are in the area?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:OK, so you're trying by the way, I turn on I turn on our spotlight.
Speaker:It lights it up so much.
Speaker:You can see so far in each direction.
Speaker:I'm going to say that this is reading a situation, reading a situation.
Speaker:So I guess since I'm carrying the thing, I'm going to assume Book is doing the navigating.
Speaker:You think that's fair?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And you may be able to help him with your compass, I guess would be the way to help him.
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:I know it sounds like I'm giving you guys just like a bunch of free helps for nothing, but helping really does put you at danger.
Speaker:You guys have just happened to roll very, which has been pretty lucky.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Normally I'm like, oh, it's good.
Speaker:They're helping because now it means they're both going to get fucked up.
Speaker:Oh, you shouldn't have told us that.
Speaker:Now I'm concerned about rolling help.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:In this case, I rolled a seven plus two.
Speaker:So a nine.
Speaker:A nine.
Speaker:OK, do you want to help him for that one extra one or do you want it to be a mix success?
Speaker:I'll help him.
Speaker:I'm nervous about doing so now, but I'll do it.
Speaker:That's a twelve.
Speaker:That's a fourteen, actually.
Speaker:Holy shit.
Speaker:Holy shit.
Speaker:Oh, my God.
Speaker:Plus one history with both of you.
Speaker:Are your dice loaded?
Speaker:I don't think so.
Speaker:Are you dice?
Speaker:So that means I roll over, I think, because I go to plus fours in the max.
Speaker:Or is it after plus four that you roll over?
Speaker:Plus four is when you roll over.
Speaker:Yeah, so that rolling over my history with Ocean means that I get plus one XP and one improvement.
Speaker:And because I just opened my mind to Psychic Maelstrom, while I think getting plus one heart or plus one aggro would probably be more useful, I'm gonna say that I get plus one weird because of the way I interacted with those wolves.
Speaker:I think it had a lasting effect on me.
Speaker:So with that full help success, you are now able to ask me three questions on your Rita situation.
Speaker:What represents my best way through?
Speaker:So working with Ocean, you think you have picked out the right path forward.
Speaker:You kind of figure out the pattern of these sewers in some way.
Speaker:And you think you know how to get back to near Hamlet opening.
Speaker:And what represents the biggest threat for me?
Speaker:As you are going along and heading in that direction, you start hearing this really intermittent, but very loud scraping sound, like almost nails on a chalkboard that echo down some of the different tunnels.
Speaker:Okay, Ocean.
Speaker:What else do we need to get through here?
Speaker:What don't we know?
Speaker:What do we need to figure out still?
Speaker:So we've been able to try and like, I guess what we don't really know is that how far these sewers will take us.
Speaker:Like, will this sewer actually get us all the way out of their territory, or will it just like drop us off in another area?
Speaker:I'm going to try to make a sound and see how long it takes the echo to reach us.
Speaker:But I'm going to drop a rock, because I don't want to alert, like I don't want to get the...
Speaker:So I'm going to try to make use like a natural sound, because I don't want that scrapie sound thing to get closer to us.
Speaker:So I pick up a rock, and I just kind of clink it against the wall.
Speaker:And then I use a stopwatch to, with a lot of human error, to try to time how long it takes for that clink to get back to us.
Speaker:But you are a super genius, so.
Speaker:He also appears to be part bat.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:You clink it against some hard metal, and you hear this just sharp sound that echoes outward.
Speaker:Less than a second later, you hear a very, very faint echo reach you.
Speaker:And you listen a little longer, and that's the last one you hear.
Speaker:So it's kind of like multi-stage echoes, right, bouncing off of different things.
Speaker:It's kind of like echo sound, you know?
Speaker:But the last one you hear was probably 0.8 seconds away.
Speaker:OK, so the speed of sound at sea level, which we're below, hopefully, probably, is like 340 meters per second, I think, which is 760 miles per hour.
Speaker:But using the meters per second, if we're at 0.8...
Speaker:You've got to divide it by two first, because it's bouncing there and back.
Speaker:Oh, true.
Speaker:Thank you, Stu.
Speaker:I'll cut that out.
Speaker:Sound smarter, Brady.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So 340 divided by two, because it went there and back, is 170...
Speaker:Shut up.
Speaker:is 170.
Speaker:Then we're taking 80 percent of that.
Speaker:So 80 percent of 150 would be 120.
Speaker:Well, we can add 80 percent of the difference, which would be 20.
Speaker:So that'd be 16.
Speaker:About 136 meters we can travel underground.
Speaker:I think I did that right.
Speaker:Editors note, we later did the math, and Brady was off by one meter.
Speaker:The correct answer is 137 meters.
Speaker:This means Brady was incorrect.
Speaker:Hopefully, this does not come back to bite Book and Ocean as they continue their journey.
Speaker:That's a little more than a cup.
Speaker:That's a little.
Speaker:That's like a 1.3 football fields ish.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:In that direction.
Speaker:Or a little less than three Olympic swimming pools.
Speaker:Man, we using our noggin today.
Speaker:So that's that's a pretty good way.
Speaker:I think that's what was at about half of the distance that we traveled.
Speaker:Maybe or no, maybe less than that.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:Stu, you tell us how far did we travel?
Speaker:You think you think that will definitely get you out of their territory.
Speaker:But not all the way back to Handlet Open.
Speaker:What do you do now?
Speaker:You know roughly the direction you need to go.
Speaker:You know the distance and that it will get you to at least out of their territory.
Speaker:And you know there's something making a scraping sound.
Speaker:I say, Ocean, let's try to be real quiet and get out of here as fast as we can.
Speaker:I like that plan.
Speaker:Let's do it.
Speaker:It's bail.
Speaker:OK, so you're trying to move quickly and silently.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That sounds like you're trying something challenging.
Speaker:Again.
Speaker:It sounds like I think Ocean's trying something more challenging because he's carrying something very heavy and electronic in a wet place.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:Let's give him the aggro roll.
Speaker:Oh, I got to raise my damn aggro.
Speaker:It always stresses me out rolling it.
Speaker:Oh, you guys have rolled very well today.
Speaker:I did not roll very well this time.
Speaker:That's a five.
Speaker:So I could have.
Speaker:Is there a feasible way you could assist me here?
Speaker:I think if you were like stumbling, I could kind of give you a steadying hand.
Speaker:I will let you try something, but it puts you at risk also.
Speaker:Google's been nice to me.
Speaker:And I use history for help someone.
Speaker:Oh, I just rolled over back to plus.
Speaker:Yes, whatever.
Speaker:Screw it.
Speaker:Oh, an 11.
Speaker:More history.
Speaker:I forgot about that.
Speaker:That rolls over for Book for me, actually.
Speaker:Oh, my God.
Speaker:I think I think someone has to look into Google.
Speaker:Google's dice roller.
Speaker:This does not seem statistically accurate.
Speaker:So you you guys start you guys start moving down the sewer as quickly and quietly.
Speaker:But that's still a mixed success.
Speaker:And you're making good progress.
Speaker:Yes, that is a mixed success.
Speaker:You're moving as quickly and quietly as you can, and you're kind of avoiding the splashing water.
Speaker:As you're making your way down there, you see every once in a while, there's a bulkhead, whatever they call them on sewers, a sewer bulkhead that just seems to be automatically opening up and then letting in some more water.
Speaker:So there are a few scenarios where you are suddenly about shin deep in water.
Speaker:None of it's crazy, crazy high at this time.
Speaker:That definitely slows you down, makes it hard to move more quietly, but you're able to mostly avoid it.
Speaker:You make your way winding through turn after turn, following where you've kind of pre-planned on this zoo quality map, where you need to go, reflecting it downwards into these tunnels underneath the city.
Speaker:And you think you are right at the sewer grate that will put you up outside of their territory and less than a quarter mile from the switchbacks that lead up to Hamlet opening.
Speaker:As you guys start climbing up, who goes first?
Speaker:I guess Ocean is going up because Book would be doing the navigating here, so I think I'd probably be in the lead.
Speaker:Yeah, and I'll hold the TTE while you climb up, and then I'll hand it up to you so that you're the one actually lifting it out of the grate, because I definitely don't think I could do that.
Speaker:Makes sense.
Speaker:Ocean, you're able to get out no problem.
Speaker:You're a strong boy.
Speaker:You push the sewer grate off, and you're able to jump up a little bit and pull yourself up.
Speaker:Book, you're holding on to this TTE while Ocean leans down and tries to grab it from you.
Speaker:You reach up, it's kind of heavy, but you're not that weak.
Speaker:You're able to put it up into his arms.
Speaker:And when he gets it, while you wait for him to reposition it, you pull your light up that you had to sling down over your shoulder for a little bit.
Speaker:And you see at the end of this long tunnel, you see these long, long fingernails just poking out from the side and just scraping backwards and pulling some massive force towards the opening.
Speaker:How far away is it from us?
Speaker:One block away.
Speaker:So tenth of a mile.
Speaker:It slowly pulls itself around the corner, and you see this horrific large face that seems to have a mouth that's almost sewn together with flesh.
Speaker:It's trying to open up and yell at you, but no sound comes out of it.
Speaker:Hey, everybody, thanks for listening again.
Speaker:If you have any comments or feedback, send us an email at oops at stu.cool.
Speaker:That's OOPS at stu.cool.
Speaker:Let us know if you like that bonus episode we did, or the dumb games we play, or you really don't want Brady to do any more math during the middle of an episode.
Speaker:We really appreciate any of that feedback, and I promise I read every message.
Speaker:We are releasing weekly on Wednesday mornings now, so listen for our next episode one week from now.
Speaker:And as always, the artwork and logo are by Brady McDonough.
Speaker:And music and editing is by Stu Masterson.
